Democrats Float 2028 Ticket of A.I. Biden and GPT-6 Turbo 
What’s a “6-7”? A Zoomer Explains The Hottest TikTok Meme (But She Might Be Trolling Us) 
Borderlands 4 Review: A Premium Cash Grab for Premium Hypocrites 
I Just Went Back to TikTok And Everyone’s A Republican Now??!? 
Adobe Patents Photos, Videos, and Computers 
Westward Hoes!: All My Friends Who Moved to Texas Are Trying to Move Back – And They’re Dumber Than Me
If you’re a millennial on the East Coast, you’ve probably had a friend or two...
How to Heat Your Home with Just One Spare Cat and a Modified Treadmill
I can't be the first person to think of this
Am I the Only One Who Cares That Evil Elites Removed Touchpad Buttons From Laptops?
This makes no sense, even for the lizard people
It’s 2024, We Need Some New Olympic Sports
We need to change the Olympics to justify my existence as a sports columnist
New “Social Justice Bible” Removes “Do Not Judge” and All Mentions of Israel
Coming soon to Christian bookstore shelves near you?
Finally! I Was Diagnosed With Poor Person Blindness, Here’s How That Disability Affects Me
It's finally time for you to educate yourself about my plight
Japanese History Needs To Be Updated For Modern Audiences
"Historical Accuracy" is a dog whistle for White Supremacy, obvi.