Squirrels Are Secretly Controlling The Stock Market, And We Need To Overthrow Them 
I Came Up With “Chicken Jockey” a Year Ago But Nobody Cared Because I’m Not Minecraft 
New NY Mayor Promises to Turn All NYC Bodegas into Buc-ee’s 
Taco Bell Runs Out of Names for Products 
WNBA Players Threaten Strike, Demand “Women’s Rights” to Bully Caitlin Clark 
Stop Being Attractive, It’s Harmful to Us Uggs
I didn't go through all that just to get dunked on by e-girls
OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM’s “Man of the Year” 2023: Parasocial Relationships
We salute the only thing that really mattered this year
You’ll Never Eat Kumquats Again After Reading These Lies About Kumquats
Just try and ignore the fact that these are lies, ok? You'd do it for a real site.
Disney’s Wish is a Masterpiece; Finally, a Movie for Girls Whose Dads Said No Sometimes
Forgive the late review, It took me a while to process all these feels
Gentle Reminder to Stop Saying Merry Christmas
Of course it's terrible, white people started it
Five Things I Want for Christmas from OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM (or Else)
Last Christmas, I gave you my clickbait. The very next day, you gave me a crappy sandwich
