FRIDAY SPECIAL: Five Signs You Might Be the Witch of Endor
Is this you?
by OJW staff
Are you tired of being ignored at parties because people think you’re just some boring old medium? Maybe it’s time they knew your true power! Here are five telltale signs that you might actually be the Witch of Endor herself.
1. People start speaking in tongues around you. Not like those crazy Pentecostals who get all sweaty and fall on their faces; we’re talking about actual dead people, using ghost tongues. If every time you walk into a room, deceased relatives start vying for your attention, it could mean you have inherited the supernatural abilities of the Witch of Endor.
2. Animals love you… or fear you. Either way, they can sense something special about you. Whether it’s cats rubbing against your legs or dogs hiding behind the sofa whenever you enter a room, animals seem to have strong feelings towards you. Getting barked at? You’re probably the Witch of Endor.
3. You have unexplained premonitions. Did you dream last night that your ex was cheating on you, only to find out today that it was completely true? Or perhaps you had a feeling there would be a major accident on the freeway, and sure enough, you saw the news report later confirming your intuition. These eerie coincidences may point to a deeper connection with the spirit world, one shared by the mysterious Witch of Endor.
4. A dead guy named Samuel wants to use you to talk to people. So maybe this isn’t necessarily exclusive to the Witch of Endor (Samuel does appear to other people too), but if a dude who died like a thousand years ago keeps popping up to chat with you, chances are pretty high that you possess powerful psychic abilities similar to hers.
5. Finally, you’re being burned at the stake for being a witch. Okay, this one isn’t exactly a sign per se; more of an outcome. But if you do indeed turn out to be the Witch of Endor, expect lots of people trying to kill you for practicing dark arts and stuff. Just remember: even Jesus got crucified, so consider yourself in good company!
