BREAKING: How Mayor Mamdani’s Communist Agenda is Turning NYC into a Billionaire Building Buffet 
DEAR GROK: Please Let Me Monetize All These Reply Guys Who Want Feet Pics 
“X” Adds Next-Gen Privacy Feature That Takes Your Picture Every Ten Seconds 
REAL POST: State of the Wolfsmashing Address: 2026 
Forget TikTok – If You Want to See Insufferably Perfomative Zoomers in Portrait Mode, Try This New App 
Canada Outlaws Disagreeing With Women Online, California Soon to Follow
Mansplaining finally gets hit by consequence culture
FACT CHECK: Is Trump Just Jesus Reincarnated?
Second Coming has to come sometime, right?
Why the “Headbutt a Kinkajou” TikTok Challenge is GENIUS
* Please do not headbutt any wild animals – OJ Alright, alright, alright! You know...
Start Preparing Now For Our Catless Future
Winter is coming, and cats are not gonna make it
We Need To Name Triples Something Else So New Players Can Break Triples Records
We need to update baseball for a modern audience
Why We Need a New “Planet of the Apes” Trilogy, Pronto
I know just how to save Hollywood
SCIENCE FACTS EXPOSED!! The Dinosaurs Died Because They Were Cringe
Cringe scientists warn birds could be next
Ta-Nehisi Coates is Right; Hamas Is Your Friend and Just Wants What’s Best For You
Isn't it time you let someone else do the thinking for you?
Are You Hydrated Enough? No? Let’s Fix That With a Built-In Mouth Faucet.
This is the logical endpoint of hydration culture