BREAKING: How Mayor Mamdani’s Communist Agenda is Turning NYC into a Billionaire Building Buffet 
DEAR GROK: Please Let Me Monetize All These Reply Guys Who Want Feet Pics 
“X” Adds Next-Gen Privacy Feature That Takes Your Picture Every Ten Seconds 
REAL POST: State of the Wolfsmashing Address: 2026 
Forget TikTok – If You Want to See Insufferably Perfomative Zoomers in Portrait Mode, Try This New App 
Trump Sends DOGE Goons to Egg Council Guy’s House to “Have a Little Chat.”
This might be egg-zactly what we need. Or it might be an egg-zaster
OH GREAT, SPIDERS CAN APPLY FOR JOBS NOW
AS IF WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS
SHOCKING! Ibram X Kendi and Robin DiAngelo Canonize Wokeness as a Religion, Say Jesus Didn’t Die For White People
They will still take donations from you, though
Five Cool Things You Can Do With Old Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups
You don't wanna eat those old things, do you?
It’s Time For The NBA to Make All Shots Three Point Shots
More points = more excitement, obvs
Civilization VII is a Woke TurboNightmare I Can’t Be Bothered to Play
Harriet TubWOMAN in a game like this is disgrace
