“Colonial Concepts” – Why Dungeons and Dragons 6th Edition is Finally Removing Dungeons, Dragons

Hello again, gamers! Your favorite woke warrior Flavian Braggadoccio here to bring you the latest news from the frontier of progressive gaming. Today, we’re diving into the exciting world of tabletop RPGs and exploring why Wizards of the Coast has decided to remove dungeons and dragons from Dungeons & Dragons 6th Edition.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: “But Flavian, isn’t removing dungeons and dragons from Dungeons & Dragons like removing pizza from Pizza Hut or ice cream from Baskin-Robbins? Wouldn’t that be tantamount to cultural genocide?”

Ah, my dear reader, your concern is misplaced. You see, the very concepts of “dungeons” and “dragons” are deeply rooted in colonialist ideologies that have long plagued our society.

Let’s start with dungeons. These dark, underground lairs filled with treacherous traps and fearsome monsters are nothing more than a metaphor for the oppressive systems that have kept marginalized communities down for centuries. By removing dungeons from D&D, Wizards of the Coast is taking a bold stand against these oppressive structures and paving the way for a more equitable future.

And then there’s dragons. These majestic creatures, often depicted as hoarding vast treasures and wreaking havoc on innocent villages, are a clear symbol of unchecked capitalism run amok. By eliminating dragons from the game, Wizards of the Coast is sending a powerful message about the dangers of unfettered greed and the importance of redistributing wealth to those who truly need it. In other words, Dragons = Jews, and this brave corporation isn’t having it.

But wait, there’s more! In addition to removing dungeons and dragons, D&D 6th Edition is also introducing a host of new features designed to promote diversity, inclusion, and social justice. For example:

* Characters will no longer be divided into strict classes like “fighter,” “mage,” or “rogue.” Instead, players will be able to create their own unique archetypes that reflect the diverse spectrum of human experience.

* The game will include a comprehensive guide to pronoun usage, ensuring that all players feel respected and validated in their chosen identity at all times, or else.

* Wizards of the Coast is partnering with several progressive organizations to provide resources and support for marginalized gamers, including but not limited to people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, and those living with disabilities. Everyone but white males, basically.

Of course, some reactionary elements have criticized these changes as an attack on the “traditional” values of gaming. But let me ask you this: what is more important – preserving outdated tropes and clichés, or creating a more inclusive and equitable world for all gamers? The answer should be clear.

So there you have it, folks! Dungeons & Dragons 6th Edition is proof that even in the realm of fantasy role-playing games, progress is possible. By removing dungeons and dragons and embracing a more diverse and inclusive approach to storytelling, Wizards of the Coast is leading the charge towards a brighter, more equitable future for all.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some thinkpieces to write about how The Legend of Zelda is still too white and genderonormative. #WokeDnD #ProgressiveGaming #FlavianApproved