With These Common Household Objects, You Can Have a Total Solar Eclipse Every Day

Disclaimer: Don’t do this. – OJ

Are you tired of living life on the cosmic sidelines, waiting for the occasional solar eclipse to brighten your day? Are you not in the Line of Totality(TM) for the Great North American Solar Eclipse of 2024(TM)? Fear not, my fellow liberated millennials! I’ve got news that will send shivers of excitement down your spine. It seems that nature’s most awe-inspiring spectacle can now be replicated in the comfort of your own home – all thanks to some common objects you probably already have just lying around!

Scientists and other professional embelishers often describe the deep, almost spiritual, connection one feels when viewing a total solar eclipse.

“It’s like a party in your eyes, and everything in the Universe is invited,” said esteemed Science Guy Neil Degrasse Tyson, “You can see the sun’s atmosphere, and that will make you worship the Sun instead of God. It’s great.”

Just imagine it: total solar eclipse, everyday. It’s like having your own personal celestial being, slaving away in the sky above. And the best part? You won’t need to spend a dime on expensive astronomical equipment or endure the annoyance of waiting for, and sitting in traffic driving to, rare cosmic alignments. No sirree! Just grab one of these everyday objects from your home and voila – instant total solar eclipse.

First on the list is the humble kitchen colander (one without holes, of course). With its circular shape and versatility, it’s the perfect size and shape to block out that big, bad sun. Next up: the classic pancake. Remember those? Well, now they have a purpose once again! Simply make one into a perfect circle, hold it up to your eye, and bask in the glory of your daily solar eclipse.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got a collection of old jar lids lying around. Turns out, they’re not just great for canning; they also make excellent solar eclipse tools. Just plonk one in front of your peepers and watch as the world goes dark. Last but not least, we have the ever-versatile coffee filter. Not only is it great for brewing your morning joe, but it can also help you achieve that total solar eclipse effect each and every day.

So there you have it, my fellow eclipse enthusiasts. No more waiting for Mother Nature to do the work for you. With these simple household objects, you can have a total solar eclipse every single day. Now that’s what I call progressive thinking! Stay woke, my friends.