If You’re Going to Finally Let Me Kill the Justice League, Then Green Lantern Should Be White

Did you see that new video game Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League? Well guess what – Green Lantern is Black again. Yeah, that’s right – Green Lantern is Black, and you get to kill him. Color me surprised. Pun intended, you murderous crackers.

Why? Because Green Lantern should have been the inferior Hal Jordan white one. You see, Green Lantern draws power from Willpower, and White Folks have lots of that. How do you think they’ve oppressed all those persons of colour all these centuries? With willpower.

Now, good Black folks don’t have much of that, and that’s why Green Lantern needs to be White again. I thought you Trump voters wanted fairness and “equality.” Instead, Green Lantern is a black guy, and you honkys get to live out your George Floyd fantasies in a AAA video game. Well done, Rocksteady.

And while we’re at it, I couldn’t help but notice all the other white superheros who were NOT being killed in Suicide Squad: Kill Justice Leaguers of Colour. Why not Green Arrow? Why not Wonder Woman? Why not Aquaman? Why not Black Canary? You know what the Suicide Squad can’t kill? White Privilege.

Speaking of Aquaman, why not add him to Suicide Squad? He’s a fishman, so he belongs with us. All the Suicide Squad members are people of colour – you have a shark, an Australian, a black man, and a mentally ill woman. Talk about diversity in comics! No wonder they are portrayed as criminals.

I thought Rocksteady were supposed to be allies, like me. This game could have been great if Green Lantern was white. If someone gets killed or is a bad guy in a piece of media, they should be a white oppressor, Full stop. Gentle Reminder.