I Came Up With “Chicken Jockey” a Year Ago But Nobody Cared Because I’m Not Minecraft 
New NY Mayor Promises to Turn All NYC Bodegas into Buc-ee’s 
Taco Bell Runs Out of Names for Products 
WNBA Players Threaten Strike, Demand “Women’s Rights” to Bully Caitlin Clark 
Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Israel Send Him Concubines 
Am I the Only One Who Cares That Evil Elites Removed Touchpad Buttons From Laptops?
This makes no sense, even for the lizard people
It’s 2024, We Need Some New Olympic Sports
We need to change the Olympics to justify my existence as a sports columnist
New “Social Justice Bible” Removes “Do Not Judge” and All Mentions of Israel
Coming soon to Christian bookstore shelves near you?
Finally! I Was Diagnosed With Poor Person Blindness, Here’s How That Disability Affects Me
It's finally time for you to educate yourself about my plight
Japanese History Needs To Be Updated For Modern Audiences
"Historical Accuracy" is a dog whistle for White Supremacy, obvi.
My Garbageman Smells Weird; Can I Replace Him With A.I.?
So my Garbageman (Garbage person? Garbage human?) has been acting a little weird lately. It’s...
Your Office Plan Should Basically Be One Big Room
WeWork failed because it didn't go far enough