Disney Announces Wild Plan to Save Itself: A Live Action “Fantastic Planet” Remake, Updated for Modern Audiences

Guess who’s got the scoop on Disney’s latest, most groundbreaking move yet? That’s right, folks, it’s me – ya go-to boy for all things Hollywood! And let me tell you, Disney’s got a wild plan brewing that’s sure to shake up the world of animation like a giant plant shaking a weird alien bird-thing!

So what’s this game-changing move, you ask? Well, prepare to have your minds blown, because Disney is taking on the iconic 1973 classic Fantastic Planet and giving it a modern, live-action makeover. Who knew that Disney even had the rights to that? The House of Mouse is full of surprises, and is planning on unearthing a deep cut from the back catalogue, just in time to save the floundering company.

“We were sitting in a meeting in the Disney Bunker, getting high and really thinking hard about why people aren’t going to Marvel movies anymore, and why all of our reboots, remakes, and sequels are flailing around and dying,” said Bob Iger, “And then we thought, you know what? Why not do the thing we always talked about doing – fixing Fantastic Planet so it’s not so French or embarrassing, and doesn’t glorify white supremacy?

And how, you wonder, are they doing that? Well, let’s just say that the good ol’ days of the Draags being giant blue animated aliens and the humans being portrayed as… well, white people… are long gone, my friends. In this new adaptation, the Draags will be brought to life by an all-star cast of traditionally Caucasian actors! Meanwhile, the humans will now be played by people of colour, because they’re the good guys, y’all! Just like real life.

But wait, there’s more! The ending has been given a serious upgrade, too. Instead of the original film’s ambiguous conclusion where the humans get the Draag to let them live in peace on the “wild planet,” Disney’s “Fantastic Planet” will end with the planet blowing up due to climate change (spoiler alert). Talk about a statement! And the best part? We’ve got a direct quote from the director, first-timer Stacy Perriwinkle, themselves:

“We knew that in order to truly connect with today’s audiences, we needed to make some changes. Updating the casting and the ending were just two ways we felt we could make this classic story feel fresh and relevant to modern viewers. It’s all about keeping Disney at the forefront of innovation and creativity!”

And there you have it, folks. Disney’s bold, new live-action “Fantastic Planet” remake is set to hit theaters soon, and it’s guaranteed to leave a lasting impression. So get ready to embrace the future, and remember: when it comes to saving Disney, sometimes you just gotta go big or go home.