Why Do We Even Still Use Pronouns? Try This Better Thing Instead

We’re all tired of the drama surrounding pronouns, right? Even in a progressive utopia like Canada, we are very tired. Like, do we really need to waste our precious time thinking about which ones to use, when to use them, and what might offend someone? I say, no way. It’s time to revolutionize the way we communicate and leave those outdated, problematically generic things we use to refer to people, in the desert dust.

The problem with pronouns is that they’re just so… committal. They force us to choose between one thing or another, when in reality, we’re all just a bunch of complex, multi-faceted, possibly human beings. It’s exhausting, right? We’re torn between the social need to support those who want new pronouns, and those who are confused by all the new options.

So, what in Trudeau’s holy name is the solution? Well, I propose we all just use… (drumroll, please)… the power of facial expressions! That’s right, folks, instead of pronouns, let’s use our faces to communicate. Think about it: a smile says, “Hey, I’m happy to see you!” A raised eyebrow says, “I’m skeptical about this.” A nod says, “I agree.” And a raised middle finger says, “I’m really, really unhappy with your decision.”

It’s not hard to do, and it’s way more accurate than some arbitrary placeholder noun. Plus, it’s a great way to connect with others on a deeper level. Just imagine the possibilities: “Hey, what’s up?” *smile* “Not much, just got back from vacation.” *frown* “Aww, sorry to hear that.” *hug*

We can also use emojis to further enhance the emotional impact of our facial expressions. Like, if someone asks you how you’re doing, and you’re feeling really down, you can just respond with 🤕👎💔. Boom! Instant emotional resonance.

Of course, there will be some haters out there who say this is too much, that it’s too complicated, or that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with replacing pronouns. However, we can’t let the naysayers hold us back from revolutionizing the way we communicate. It’s time to break free from the shackles of pronouns and embrace the future. The future is facial expressions and emojis. The future is now. Embrace it, or get MAIDed.