Have You Been Wearing Your Seatbelt Wrong This Entire Time? Find Out Here!
Want to live? Get a hot glue gun
You’ve heard of the shocking revelations about vaccines? Well, buckle up, because the same is true for seatbelts! Scientists have recently discovered that the way we wear our seatbelts is flawed, and can actually put us at risk for serious injury in the event of a crash.
Here are 4 new ways to wear your seatbelt that will protect you better than ever:
1. Customized Fit: No more strapping your seatbelt across your waist! Instead, adjust it so that it sits right above your hip bones, where your pelvis ends. This is a more secure fit, and will protect you from internal injuries during a crash. Nobody wants a bruised spleen.
2. Crossed Over: The way we normally cross our seatbelts over our bodies and click it into place is no longer the right way. No, you have to wrap it around your body fully once, and THEN click in into place. It might be uncomfortable, but you’ll be happy when a blimp hits you and you don’t die this time.
3. Sleeping Position: Now that we’ve established a more secure fit, we need to take it one step further. If you’re a light sleeper, you may need to lay on your side when you wear your seatbelt. This makes it harder to see the road, which makes wearing a seatbelt even MORE important.
4. Hot Glue: Hot glue has recently been used to glue seatbelts to cars in high-speed tests. Scientists have determined that this is a revolutionary way to secure your seatbelt to your car, and it’s available in a number of different colors! You can even glue it to your body, if you’re feeling especially adventurous.
So there you have it: scientists have cracked the code on seatbelts, and it’s time for everyone to adapt their driving habits accordingly! This is the current science, and so if you don’t obey it, you hate science. So just do it!