OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM’s “Man of the Year” 2023: Parasocial Relationships

by (nobody would attach their name to this)

Hey guys! 🤘 So, here we are again — capping off another year, 2023 I guess, with our beloved “Man of the Year” award (because, hello? Someone’s got to carry on the tradition). But instead of some dapper or overrated dude taking the crown this time around, allow us to gush over something that isn’t even alive or corporeal. 😳 Yeah, you read that right, folks; grab onto something cozy and digital ’cause we’re giving this year’s award to Parasocial Relationships! Intrigued? I bet my Harambe meme collection you are!

Alright, so let me paint you a picture in a few brush strokes. Picture those late-night pillow talks with your fave YouTube vlogger, sharing every laugh, tear, triumph, and setback as if you were old pals on a couch swapping stories (just don’t mention how you know their pet’s birth date or favorite dish by heart, kay? 🙄 ). That there is textbook “parasocial,” where you feel intimate bonds, attraction, even admiration towards public figures—and believe it or not, this phenomenon has been sneakily impacting human culture way longer than Twitter rants or Facebook Live! Funny thing is, not until 2017 did science serve up juicy research explaining why we totally lose ourselves scrolling endlessly through Instagram or lurking awkwardly in YouTube comment threads… because, apparently, it tickles our social brain in a delightful little spot called oxytocin release. How sci-fi is THAT?!

Anyhoo, 2023 has been the biggest year yet for these one-way fake relationships, and we here at OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM couldn’t think of any human man this year that has accomplished nearly as much. 🤣 From influencers peddling lifestyles you can only dream about (and pay for, please and thank you), virtual musicians like Hatsune Miku or Taylor Swift, eSports superstars you love (cheating in games), or binge-ing mind-blowing content from cinematic masterminds known as VTubers – it seems we’ve finally found the digital Jesus we wanna worship together: Parasocial Relationships. They make us giggle, snort, cringe, and scream, fuel countless debates and Twitter (X) anxiety battles. We celebrate them like friends we have never met, laugh with them, grieve over their hardships, share conspiracies, and cry our hearts out during their big farewell tours – all this with just pixels and data lines connecting us. So let’s bow down to King Parasocial while embracing life as fandom and loneliness as inevitablility – Viva la Parasocial Connection™! 🎉🚀💥