I Saw a Lizard Person on a Plane Once, But Nobody Cared Because I’m an Ugly Dude

Have you seen that video of that lady who saw lizard people or something on her flight? It was a while back, so I don’t blame you if you don’t. See anything interesting? Yep, that’s right, she’s a woman. And that means she can get on TMZ by just claiming that one of her fellow plane passengers “isn’t real.” She didn’t even say what she thought the passenger was. I bet it was a lizard person. Maybe it was the same one I saw on that terrible day so many moons ago.

Anyway, this lady on TMZ made the news for being a nutjob who claimed that someone else wasn’t real. Now, this would be funny and harmless if she wasn’t attractive, but she is, so everyone cares. She’s all over the news, everyone knows her, etc., etc. The hot nut probably has a book deal by now. Young women are probably seeking her out for advice. Do they seek THE JEFF out for advice? Nope. And trust me, I have some advice to give.

Facts are facts. Nobody cares when I see lizard people on planes, because I’m ugly.

It’s just not fair. I mean, I’m not saying that I want to be on TMZ or anything, but if we’re all about equality, then I should be famous, too. It’s DEI in motion.

But that’s just how it is, I guess. Hot people get attention, while ugly people stay invisible. It sucks. Hey, maybe the “not real” person she saw on the plane was just ugly. That would be ironic, don’t you think?

Maybe one day, the lizard people will rise up and take over. Maybe THE JEFF will be their leader. I don’t know. But until then, I’ll just have to keep seeing lizard people on planes and nobody caring.