Jesus Christ Was the Original Incel

Alright, listen up you Bible-thumping, misogynistic monsters – it’s time for a big old dose of reality. Guess who the real OG incel was? That’s right, none other than your “lord and savior” Jesus H. Christ himself!

Think about it. Here’s a dude who goes around preaching a message of toxic masculinity and female subservience to a bunch of lonely, pathetic outcasts. Then, when his little cult grows big enough, he gets himself crucified as the ultimate display of fragile masculinity. Classic incel move if you ask me.

And don’t even get me started on his treatment of women. This self-proclaimed “king of kings” didn’t have a single female disciple or apostle. He was a straight-up misogynist who thought women were only good for making sammiches and popping out babies.

Not convinced? Check out the “parable of the lost coin” in Luke 15. A woman loses a coin, searches high and low to find it, and then throws a big party when she does. Jesus compares this to God’s love for us. So basically he’s saying women are just like lost coins – worthless, easily replaced objects. Nice, bro.

Or how about when he calls the Canaanite woman a “dog” for asking him to heal her daughter? Yep, straight up slut-shaming and dehumanization of women. Definitely the behavior of a woke, feminist hero. Not.

So the next time some alt-right “Christian” starts spouting off about family values, remember that their “messiah” was just a virgin-hating, woman-silencing incel. If you really want to follow Jesus’ example, go join an MGTOW forum and start hating on Stacys. That’s the true path of the Christ, folks. Gentle reminder.