In Final Moments, Biden Announces ERA, Welcomes Jimmy Carter as Next President.

by OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM staff

In a stunning turn of events on his last day in office, President Biden has declared the Equal Rights Amendment officially the “law of the land,” despite the fact that it was never actually ratified by the required number of states. In an even more bizarre twist, he’s also announced that former President Jimmy Carter will be taking over the Oval Office, effective immediately. This shocking display of senility comes as no surprise to anyone who’s watched Biden’s steady decline into full-blown dementia over the past decade.

Biden, looking confused and disoriented as usual, took to the podium today to make his unexpected announcements. “Folks, today is a great day for women’s rights,” he slurred, struggling to read the teleprompter. “The ERA is now officially the law, thanks to my executive order. And I’m also very pleased to welcome back my good friend Jimmy to the White House. He’ll do a great job, just like he did during the oil crisis in the 70s. I have no idea why he’s here, but it’s great to see him!”

A Jimmy Carter impersonator hired by NOW, then shuffled into the room, eating peanuts from a bag. “What’s going on here, Joe?” he asked. “Did you finally pass the ERA? And what did you say? Be President? No, Joe – it’s 2024 and I just died, you silly goose.”

Biden, completely oblivious to the chaos unfolding, continued with his speech. “And now, I’d like to introduce the next President of the United States, Jimmy Carter! He’s going to fix everything I broke. This is so great, man!”

The room erupted into confusion and chaos as Secret Service agents tried to restrain the fake Carter, who was still insisting that he didn’t want the job. Biden, meanwhile, just smiled and waved, clearly unaware that he doesn’t have the power to name the next president or ratify the ERA.

As for that ERA, “legal experts” are already pointing out that Biden’s executive order means nothing, as the amendment ran out of time to be properly ratified in like 1982. But that hasn’t stopped progressives from declaring victory and praising Biden’s bold leadership.

“This is a historic moment,” tweeted one prominent feminist. “Biden’s dementia has finally made the ERA a reality. He’s truly a champion for women’s rights!”

Another user added, “Biden’s senility is actually a blessing in disguise. He’s accomplishing more for women and minorities than any other president in history!”

The outgoing White House has not yet commented on the growing concerns over Biden’s mental state or his apparent belief that he can name a new president. They have, however, released a statement congratulating everyone on the passage of the ERA and encouraging Americans to “stay tuned for more surprises from President Biden as he rolls off into the sunset.”

When asked for comment on Biden’s antics, incoming President Trump just said, “Now that I know I can just – do – Amendments, I’m going to do 20 or 30 my first week. They’ll be the best amendments, everyone will love them.”