Introducing the New ‘Bro Bible’: Finally, a Bible Translation For Young Men!

You may have noticed that the Bible has become a bit too soft in recent years, filled with verses about loving your neighbor and turning the other cheek. Well, I’m here to tell you that those days are over! Enter the Bro Bible – a new translation designed specifically for a modern audience of young men who aren’t afraid to crush it both in the gym and in their faith.

The idea for the Bro Bible came from Twitter bros who felt that traditional Bibles were too feminine-coded, lacking the testosterone-fueled action and badassery of God’s presumed original message. So a team of swole scholars banded together to create a new translation that cuts out all the weak stuff and gets straight to the point.

Here are just a few examples of how the Bro Bible has been revised:

* Matthew 5:39 (NIV): “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

* Matthew 5:39 (Bro Bible): “Turning the other cheek? More like turning up for a fist fight! Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth, bro! Knuckle up, bros!”

* John 10:10 (NIV): “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

* John 10:10 (Bro Bible): “The thief came to steal and kill and destroy. I came so you can get swole AF in the gym, and steal, kill, and destroy HARDER. #JesusSquats”

* Philippians 4:8 (NIV): “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

* Philippians 4:8 (Bro Bible): “Dudes, think about chicks. Chill vibes. Cool cars. Bro-ing out with your homies. That’s the good life right there. Pop open a cold one and consider that, holmes.”

The response to the Bro Bible has been overwhelmingly positive from young men who felt alienated by the “girly” nature of traditional Bible translations. One reviewer on Amazon even wrote, “Finally, a Bible I can get pumped to! Can we get Andrew Tate to read this as an audio book?”

The Bro Bible is available now in both print and eBook formats, perfect for the modern man on the go. So grab your copy today and let’s make Christianity great again! Remember, the first 100 bros to order the Bro Bible will receive a free autographed poster of @BronzeAgePervert’s best tweets!