Star Wars is COOKED! (For the 417th Time This Week)

Holy force chokes, my fellow nerds…what the actual hell is happening to our beloved Star Wars franchise?? I mean, seriously – ever since Disney took over, everything has gone straight down the fucking drain. The once-proud saga that made us fall in love with epic space opera is now a steaming pile of woke nonsense and pandering fan service to non-fans. It’s like the execs over there are actively trying to destroy the legacy of the original trilogy, Luke Skywalker, and Lucasfilm itself.

Let’s be real here – the sequel trilogy was an absolute fucking dumpster fire from start to finish. Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi is single-handedly responsible for giving me GERD by destroying everything that made the original Star Wars great. And don’t even get me started on the bullshit “inclusivity” quotas they forced into the latest TV shows. It’s like they think shoving more token diversity down our throats will magically make up for the lack of solid storytelling and character development. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.

But hey, at least we’ve got those awesome Mandalorian memes to keep us entertained, right? Oh wait…even THAT show has been infected with woke politics lately. I swear, it’s like these SJWs are determined to ruin everything they touch. But you know what? Fuck them! We don’t need their condescending preaching or half-assed attempts to pander to the “woke” crowd. As true Star Wars fans, we deserve so much better than this garbage.

And don’t get me started on The Acolyte…please. The Jedi are supposed to be the GOOD GUYS, Kennedy. Only a girl wouldn’t know that.

So, Disney…if you’re listening (which I highly doubt), here’s a piece of advice: stop trying to force your woke agenda down our throats and just focus on making good American movies and shows again. Respect the source material, hire creators who actually give a shit about the franchise, and for the love of God, fire whoever came up with the idea for Rose Tico. Trust me – your bottom line will thank you.

Anyway, that’s all for now, my fellow Star Wars enthusiasts. Keep fighting the good fight against the woke bullshit, and may the Force be with you. And don’t forget to hit that subscribe button to stay up-to-date on all the latest nerdy rants and hot takes from yours truly. Until next time, this has been Another A-H-G gem. Now give me money.