Let’s Pretend Generations Only Last 10 Years So We Can Dunk On Generation Beta Sooner

As a millennial-turned-influencer-turned-cat-owner-turned-cat-ghost-owner, I am always looking for new ways to make money and stay ahead of the trends. That’s why I’m proposing we start pretending generations only last 10 years so we can start lambasting this irrelevant “Generation Beta” sooner.

What is Generation Beta, you ask? It’s the next generation after Generation Alpha, of course. Since people are acting like generations only last 15 years now, why don’t we just embrace this nonsense and use it to our advantage? Some Boomers on Wikipedia made a chart that says Gen X stopped being born in 1980, and then just made the generations last 15 years from there. Then they just kept naming things after letters. Someone should tell Boomers that nobody cares about their stupid fake encyclopedia.

But anyway, let’s just pretend generations only last 10 years so we can call the losers born from 2010-2020 “Generation Beta.” That way, we can all laugh at their ridiculousness and feel superior, even if they’re just toddlers or something. I mean, come on, we all know that Zoomers are already doomed. Let’s all agree they’re not real. They don’t exist. They probably never did.

Generation Beta will have to deal with all the fallout from the 2020s. Think of all the terrible trends we’ll have! TikTok will probably become the only social media platform left, and all the kids will be obsessed with it. They’ll all wear covid masks and talk like they’re in a video game, and they’ll be so addicted to Kai Cenat branded products and juggling Tide Pods and whatever other stupid thing comes next. Ugh, they’re so dumb…

And so it goes. It’s gonna be so fun to have a whole new group of kids to kick around!

“Generation Beta, am I right?” we’ll all say. And everyone will laugh, because it’s true. They’re just a bunch of dumb little idiots who don’t know anything, and they deserve to be mocked mercilessly by us smart, cool, woke-war-veteran adults who are totally not bitter or resentful or jealous or anything. Nope, not at all!

Oh God, I can’t believe I just said that. But yeah, let’s do it. Let’s make generations only 10 years long and call the kids born from 2010 to 2020 “Generation Beta.” Because I can’t stand the idea that Gen Z might last until 2025. They’re so annoying. And let’s face it, they’ll never be as cool as us Millennials. Or even Gen X. Yeah, let’s just forget Gen X ever happened.*

* Sarai, we’ve talked about this. Let’s not. – OJW