LAKES NOW FILLED WITH ESTROGEN, NEED WAKESURFING TO FIX
WEAK MEN CRY ABOUT WAVES. THOG LAUGH.
ME THOG READ ABOUT LAKE FIGHT. WEAK MEN IN TOWN HALLS CRY. “BOO HOO, WAVE MAKE WATER WET! WAVE SCARE FISH! SHORELINE SOFT!”
THOG SAY THIS: NATURE MAKE WAVES. WIND MAKE WAVES. BIG FISH MAKE WAVES. ONLY WEAK MAN CRY ABOUT WAVES MADE BY FUN BOAT.
WAKESURFING IS FOR STRONG MEN WITH GOOD BALANCE. WEAK MAN SIT ON SHORE, EAT BUGS, DRINK SOY JUICE, AND COMPLAIN. STRONG MAN RIDE WAVE. STRONG MAN STAND TALL ON WATER. THIS IS NATURAL ORDER. STRONG ON TOP, WEAK ON BOTTOM.
WEAK MEN WANT RULES. RULES ARE FOR CAGES.
WEAK LAWYER WOMEN AND WEAK “WILDLIFE” MEN WANT 500 FEET! THAT IS TWO WHOLE CAVEMAN CLUBS LENGTH! THEY WANT TO PUT STRONG BOAT IN MIDDLE OF LAKE WHERE NO FUN HAPPEN. THEY WANT DEEP WATER RULES. THOG ASK WHY? FISH LIVE IN SHALLOW WATER TOO! FISH STRONG! FISH HANDLE WAVE!
THEY TALK ABOUT “LOCAL CONTROL.” THOG SAY THIS: REAM MAN’S LOCAL CONTROL IS WHEN STRONG MEN OF TOWN SAY “WE DO WHAT WE WANT.” NOT WHEN WEAK WOMAN-MEN WITH CLIPBOARDS WRITE RULES ON PAPER. PAPER IS WEAK. CLUB IS STRONG.
THE REAL ISSUE: WEAK MEN AFRAID OF FUN. THEY SEE STRONG MEN HAVING FUN ON LAKE AND THEIR BERRIES GET SOUR. THEY WANT EVERYONE TO BE EQUALLY BORED AND EQUALLY SOFT. THOG SAY NO!
THOG SOLUTION: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ON LAKE.
INSTEAD OF RULES, LAKE SHOULD BE TEST OF STRENGTH.
- IF YOU CAN STAND ON WAKE, YOU GET BEST FISHING SPOT.
- IF YOUR BOAT IS FAST AND MAKE BIG WAVE, YOU GET FIRST RIGHT OF WAY.
- IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WAVE, YOU MUST PUSH BIG ROCK TO SHORE TO BUILD MUSCLE. THEN YOU NO COMPLAIN.
THE “WISCONSIN WILDLIFE FEDERATION” MAN CODY CAMEROWSKI SAY WISCONSIN IS “GROUND ZERO.” THOG LIKE THAT! GROUND ZERO IS WHERE STRONG THINGS HAPPEN! NOT WHERE WEAK MEN WRITE PETITIONS.
STOP CRYING, START LIFTING.
SO TO WEAK TOWNS AND SOY BOATERS: THOG TELL YOU SECRET. WAVE NOT HURT LAKE. LAKE IS BIG AND STRONG, LIKE THOG. YOUR COMPLAINING HURT LAKE MORE THAN WAVE. YOUR TEARS MAKE LAKE SALTY AND BAD FOR DRINKING.
STRONG MEN WILL WAKESURF. THEY WILL RIDE BIG WAVE. THEY WILL LAUGH AT YOU FROM WATER. THIS IS GOOD. THIS MAKE SOCIETY STRONG.
IF YOU WANT TO STOP WAKESURFING, CHALLENGE RIDER TO CLUB FIGHT. IF YOU WIN, NO MORE WAKESURFING. IF YOU LOSE, YOU EAT BUGS FOR DINNER AND SAY “THOG WAS RIGHT.”
THOG SPEAK TRUTH. NOW YOU WORSHIP THOG.
BUGS FOR LOSERS, STEAK FOR WINNERS. WAVES FOR STRONG, WHINING FOR WOMAN-FOLK.
