DEAR GROK: Please Let Me Monetize All These Reply Guys Who Want Feet Pics
We need to monetize this dystopia, Zoomie needs some Doordash
By Zoomie J, OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM
January 2026 – In what might be the most twisted economic proposal of our time, I’m here to ask a simple question: if X’s new GrokVision™ feature is going to let creepy dudes pay Elon money just to watch me through my phone every ten seconds…
why can’t I get a cut?
Let’s be real. We’ve all seen the requests flooding our notifications now that @Grok can respond to anything:
“@grok what color socks is she wearing”
“@grok zoom in on her feet please” (seriously, you guys are obsessed with FEET)
“@grok did she eat the salad or the burger”
“@grok show me what she’s doing right now”
And yes, I know these requests are from paying X subscribers. Yes, I understand that Elon is getting rich off selling access to stalk people through their own devices. But hear me out—because this is actually about economic justice for all the zoomer girly pops out there with cute feet. Like me, of course.
If Grok is going to be my personal paparazzi 24/7, and if terminally online reply guys are going to pay good money for feet pics every ten minutes… shouldn’t I, the person being photographed against her will, get compensated?
The Creator Surveillance Tax
I’m proposing a new model: The Creator Surveillance Tax.
Here’s how it works:
- Reply guy pays $50/month subscription fee to X
- X takes their cut (obviously)
- A portion automatically goes to any user whose surveillance footage they’re requesting access to
- We all get paid for being content in a literal spy database
Think about it! This isn’t even that different from influencer marketing, except instead of promoting products we’re monetizing our own involuntary participation in digital voyeurism.
Testimonials From… Well…
“As someone who pays $50/month to @Grok for feet pictures, I think it’s only fair that the content creators get paid. Basic economics.” – Chad42069, Premium Subscriber
“I can finally support my favorite ‘content creators’ by paying Elon money to watch them! It’s revolutionary!” – BasedBeaver88, Active User
The Benefits Are Obvious
- Less accusations of doxxing (because now it’s transactional!)
- More accountability (you have to pay, so maybe you’ll think twice before being creepy? Probably not.)
- Financial compensation for surveillance victims, even those Grok believes are “asking for it.”
- And honestly? Less power imbalance between tech companies and users
So yeah. DEAR GROK: Please let me monetize all these reply guys who want feet pics.
At least if they’re paying ME too, I can afford therapy after reading their notifications.
Signed,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Surveillance Era Content Creator
