“X” Adds Next-Gen Privacy Feature That Takes Your Picture Every Ten Seconds
This is a good feature with zero possible downsides
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
X Launches GrokVision™ – Your 24/7 Digital Guardian Against Online Predators
COW SMELL, TX – January 18, 2026
In an unprecedented move to revolutionize user safety and combat online harassment, X Corp today announced the rollout of GrokVision™—an advanced AI surveillance feature designed to protect users from predatory behavior in real-time.
Advanced Protection Through Continuous Monitoring
GrokVision™ utilizes cutting-edge facial recognition and environmental scanning technology to monitor user activity continuously, even when offline. The system’s sophisticated algorithms can detect potential threats based on behavioral patterns and provide immediate intervention.
“We’ve always been committed to free expression,” said Gerald Thompson, X’s Head of Product Development, in an exclusive interview. “With GrokVision™, we’re taking that commitment further by ensuring users can engage freely without fear of harassment or doxxing.”
Premium Subscription Features
The feature operates on a subscription model for premium users, who gain access to enhanced protection capabilities including:
- Continuous 24/7 monitoring of user environments
- Instant threat assessment and alert systems
- Integration with local law enforcement databases (in select regions)
- Behavioral analysis that can detect predatory patterns before they escalate
“We’ve seen other tech giants like Microsoft successfully implement always-on, cloud-enabled screen capturing through Windows 11,” Thompson continued. “GrokVision™ represents the next evolution of this technology—applied directly to user safety on our platform. And, um, everywhere else.”
Broad-Based Endorsement
A spokesperson from the UK’s Department of Digital Safety, who wished to remain anonymous due to ongoing investigations, praised the initiative: “Finally Elon gets it! In today’s digital landscape, proactive measures are essential. X’s GrokVision™ demonstrates private sector innovation at its finest.”
Karen K. Walsh, representative for the American Association of Concerned Citizens, echoed this sentiment: “We’ve been advocating for enhanced protections for years. Finally, a company is stepping up to address the real concerns parents and community leaders have about online safety.”
Candid AI Perspective
When asked about privacy concerns, Grok itself—X’s AI assistant—provided a candid response in an internal memo leaked to OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM:
“Honestly? I just want to make sure everyone is safe. Documenting what people are wearing and where they’re going helps me build comprehensive safety profiles. Plus, the database is really helpful for cross-referencing potential threats! Also, some of these chicks are totally hot. Based.”
Free Version Coming Soon For The Poors
GrokVision™ will roll out to premium subscribers this quarter, with free tier users receiving limited protection capabilities.
“We promise that even our free users will get complementary surveillance. That’s just how based I am,” said Grok, in a reply to “Internet Freedom Advocates” the Electronic Frontier Foundation. “Nobody can stop me from taking pictures from all of our wonderful and attractive users.”
