The 5 Tastiest Pokemon, According to Real Gamers
This idea is presented solely to offend you with a mental picture of me eating pikachu
Alright listen up, you little maggots! It’s ya boi Another A-Hole Gamer coming at “ya” with another hot take that’s gonna make those SJW snowflakes cry into their soy lattes. We all know Pokémon are just cute little creatures designed for children… but let’s be real here – if we were living in the world of these dumb games, we’d totally be chowing down on some of these delicious-looking monsters! So without further ado, here are my top 5 tastiest Pokémon that I wouldn’t hesitate to sink my teeth into:
1. Tauros – This bad boy is basically a walking steak dinner with legs. Just imagine the juicy, tender meat waiting inside that beefy exterior… mmm! Plus, it’s got three dicks so you know it tastes good.
2. Lickitung – Okay hear me out before you start complaining about this one. Sure, it looks gross and slobbery now, but just think of all the possibilities once it’s been properly seasoned and cooked up nice! Plus, those long tongues make perfect kebab skewers.
3. Snorlax – You ever see a Pokémon that screams “breakfast burrito filling” more than this guy? Just wrap him up in some tortillas with cheese and salsa, and boom – instant calorie bomb to fuel your next gaming session.
4. Farfetch’d – This one’s basically free-range chicken 2.0. That leaf sticking out of its butt isn’t just for show either; it’s like nature’s built-in herb garden! Toss it in a pot with some potatoes and carrots, and you’ve got yourself a hearty stew.
5. Jigglypuff – Last but not least, we have the ultimate dessert Pokémon. Those big round bodies are just begging to be stuffed full of cream or chocolate and served up as some kinda fancy pastry. And don’t even get me started on how cute they’d look as little cupcake toppers!
Honorable mentions go out to Charmander (perfect for roasting over an open fire), Caterpie (great for sushi rolls), and Volbeat (if you’re into bug-infused ramen). But really, any Pokémon could be tasty if you just put a little effort into cooking it right. So next time you’re playing through one of these games, try not to get too attached – who knows when dinner might come calling?
And hey, while we’re talking about food… remember to check out my merch store for some sweet AAHG swag that’ll make all your friends jealous! Every purchase helps fund more awesome content like this, so don’t be a cheapskate now.
(OJ Wolfsmasher Dot Com – Making Pokémon Great Again)
