Trump Signs Executive Order Deporting Superman Back to Krypton
Superman is a metaphor that represents anything you want him to be
In a move that has left comic book fans and political pundits alike scratching their heads (and probably wondering if they’ve accidentally clicked on a headline from The Daily Planet), President Trump has signed an executive order deporting Superman back to his home planet of Krypton. Yes, you read that right – the Man of Steel is being sent packing by the leader of the free world.
The order, titled “Executive Order on Returning Illegal Aliens to Their Planets of Origin,” was announced during a press conference where Trump declared, “Superman may be an alien, but he’s been overstaying his welcome here in America for far too long! It’s time to send him back where he belongs – Krypton!”
Trump went on to explain that, despite knowing full well that Krypton was destroyed years ago (spoiler alert), he believes it is Superman’s duty as an illegal alien to figure out how to get there anyway. “He’s Superman,” Trump said with a shrug. “If anyone can find a way back to a planet that doesn’t even exist, it’s him!”
According to the executive order, Superman will have 30 days to pack his bags and leave Earth before facing deportation proceedings. The specifics of how he is supposed to travel to a destroyed planet remain unclear, but Trump seems confident in Supes’ ability to find a way.
“This is about more than just immigration,” Trump explained during the press conference. “It’s about holding superheroes accountable for their actions and making them face the consequences of their illegal presence on our planet. Plus, I hear Kryptonian real estate prices are pretty good right now – maybe Superman can pick up a nice vacation home while he’s there!”
The response from Metropolis has been…underwhelming, to say the least. Mayor Leeks was unavailable for comment, but sources close to City Hall say they are “in shock” by Trump’s decision. Meanwhile, Lois Lane has reportedly quit her job at The Daily Planet to become a full-time investigative journalist focusing on the Kryptonian diaspora.
As for what’s next? Who knows! One thing’s for sure though: as long as Trump is President, there will always be something new and unexpected happening in DC – whether it involves real-world politics or superhero drama. Stay tuned, folks!
