Bet – Why Boomers Shouldn’t Be Allowed Near TikTok: A Comprehensive Guide
Bet. Then bet again. I mean it.
Bet! We need to have an extremely serious talk about something that’s been weighing heavily on my mind lately during the five-minute breaks in my weekend-long pomodoro sessions. It’s not the climate crisis, or the economy, or the state of world politics (well, maybe a little bit of that last one – yikes). No, what I’m talking about is the absolute chaos that ensues when Boomers try to use TikTok.
Like, have you seen some of these dance attempts? It’s like watching a baby deer try to walk for the first time – it’s just…not pretty. And don’t even get me started on their attempts at humor! I saw one guy trying to do that “Fortnite Floss” dance while belching and he looked like he was having a seizure out there!
I get it, Boomers think TikTok is all fun and games and the future or whatever. But trust me, it’s not. It’s a battlefield of memes, challenges, and viral trends that you simply *cannot* follow with your old brains. And when you try? Well, let’s just say it’s cringey as hell.
First off, the lingo alone is enough to make your head spin. You’ve got your “sksksk”, your “okurrr”, your “yeet”…I could go on and on. But Boomers? They’re still stuck on “okay boomer”. Newsflash: that’s not a thing anymore, okay? Millennials defeated you with that years ago, just let it go!
And then there’s the whole “For You” page debacle. I’ve seen Boomers trying to keep up with what’s trending and it’s just…sad. Like, you can’t just hop on a trend because you saw it once – you gotta live it! And by “live it,” I mean never hope to own a house.
Let me break it down for you: TikTok is OUR space. We created it, we own it, and we don’t need you coming in here and trying to claim it as your own, like you did with everything in Gen X. So do us all a favor and stick to the Facebook or whatever ye olde social media platform you’re using these days.
Trust me, everyone will be better off if Boomers just stay away from TikTok altogether. It’s not worth the heartache of seeing your grandparents try to be cool. Some things are better left unspoken (and unseen).
So there you have it – my comprehensive guide on why Boomers shouldn’t be allowed near TikTok. Spread the word, Zoomies! Let’s keep our app *iconic* and leave the old farts in the dust where they belong.
