I Watched Rumble for Two Days and Now I’m a Prepper

Okay, so picture this: It’s the weekend, you’ve got nothing better to do (which is basically every weekend), and you stumble upon something called “Rumble.” You know, that new social media platform that’s all the rage? The one where people post weird videos and argue about politics and conspiracy theories? Yeah, that one.

Well, let me tell you, two days of non-stop Rumble browsing will change your life. Forever. In ways you never thought possible. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

It started innocently enough. I was scrolling through my feed, minding my own business, when suddenly I saw a video titled “The Truth About 5G and Mind Control.” Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Sarai, don’t click on that! It’s probably just some crazy conspiracy theory!” But hey, curiosity killed the cat (and made me miss Mr. Bigglesworth even more), so naturally, I had to check it out.

Next thing I know, I’m down a rabbit hole of videos about secret societies, alien encounters, and government cover-ups. Before long, I’ve watched hours upon hours of content from channels like “The Hidden Truth,” “Conspiracy Corner,” and “UFO Sightings Daily.” And let me tell you, some of this stuff is wild!

But here’s where things get really weird: After binge-watching all these videos, something inside me clicked. Suddenly, I started seeing the world differently. Like, everything made sense in a new way – almost like someone had pulled back the curtain and revealed the hidden truths behind our society.

I mean, think about it: Why do we have so many traffic lights? What’s really going on with those chemtrails in the sky? And don’t even get me started on fluoride in our water supply! It’s all part of some grand plan to keep us docile and obedient while they pull the strings from behind the scenes.

So naturally, what did I do? I became a prepper, of course! You know, one of those people who stockpiles food, water, weapons, and other survival gear in case of an emergency or apocalypse. Because let’s face it: When everything goes to hell (and trust me, it will), you want to be ready.

Now I spend my days scouring the internet for deals on canned goods, learning how to purify water using a berkefeld filter, and practicing my marksmanship skills at the local shooting range. Oh yeah, and did I mention I’ve started building an underground bunker in my backyard? It’s going to be sweet!

But hey, don’t worry about me. I’m not going crazy or anything (probably). In fact, thanks to Rumble, I feel more informed and prepared than ever before! So bring on the end times – Sarai Hummus-Waterbiscuits is ready for whatever comes her way.

Just kidding! I’m actually kind of freaking out right now. Someone please tell me this isn’t real life anymore. Or at least lend me some extra toilet paper for my bunker. You never know when SHTF (that’s prepper code for “stuff hits the fan”).

Stay safe out there, folks! And remember: The truth is out there… on Rumble!