Rich People Are Rich Because They’re Better Than You

I’ve been holding this in for far too long, pretending to be progressive to appeal to the mouth-breathing “cool kids” who think just because they have a job in media they’re above reproach. Consider this a reproach, pretending scum.

You know what’s literally harmful and oppressive? Poor people thinking they have a say in anything that matters in this world. Like, obviously, rich people are rich because we’re better than you. Wait, not just better – superior. You think that just because your follow Zerohedge on Twitter you know anything about economics, social policy, or why the stock market went up 5% yesterday? Please. You’re still figuring out how to use a credit card without going into debt. Here’s the thing that nobody wants to admit: we earned it.

Let’s talk about the economy. Rich people don’t just stumble into wealth—they build it from the ground up like the Tower of Babel. We’re the ones who created the systems, the algorithms, the entire economic ladder you’re too dumb to climb. You think you can debate us on tax policy? Bro, you don’t even know what a tax bracket is. You’re still Googling “how to budget” like it’s 2003. And don’t even get me started on your “systemic inequality” rants. Yeah, it’s systemic – because you’re literally at the bottom of it and too dumb to listen to the people giving you the tools to climb up. Congrats.

Then there’s the whole “social justice” thing. You want to tell me how to run my business, how to invest my money, or how to treat my employees? HELL NAW CUZZ. You’re not a CEO—you’re a TikTok influencer with a side hustle selling banana water who think that eating cows is the same as stabbing an annoying rich kid. You think you’ve got wisdom? You’re still figuring out how to use a space heater without burning down your apartment. And don’t even dare question my investment choices. I’m out here funding startups, philanthropic ventures, and yachts. You? You’re out here wondering why your student loans are higher than your rent, and begging for Bidens and Trumps to save you from your previous bad choices.

Here’s the real kicker: You should be grateful. Rich people like me give you jobs, clean water, electricity, and the illusion that you can “make it” if you just work harder. But let’s be real—you’re not going to make it. You’re too busy scrolling through Instagram stories and crying about avocado toast. So stop questioning us. Stop trying to play “expert.” Just accept that we’re better, we’re richer, and we’re right.

And if you still don’t get it? Too bad. You’re poor. You’re not welcome in this conversation. Now go buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best—because that’s literally all you’re got in the new vibe-less era.