Trump Executive Order Deports Entire Supreme Court to ‘Space’
Wasn’t this the plot of ‘Moonraker?’
In a move that has left the nation in stunned disbelief, President Trump has signed an executive order that would deport the entire Supreme Court to “space,” citing their “extreme bias” and “lack of loyalty.” The order, titled “Executive Order on Removing Unconstitutional Justices to Extraterrestrial Zones,” was announced during a rally in Florida, where Trump vowed to “clean up the judiciary once and for all.”
Under the order, all nine Supreme Court justices will be transported to an unspecified location in space within 90 days. The exact destination has not been disclosed, but Trump has hinted that it could be “a beautiful resort on Mars” or “a luxurious hotel on the moon,” funded entirely by taxpayers.
“We have a problem with the Supreme Court,” Trump told the crowd, flanked by Space Force generals and Elon Musk. “They’ve been ruling against me constantly, and it’s time to get rid of them. Send them to space—let the aliens deal with them. It’s a win-win.”
The order has already sparked chaos in the legal system, as lower court judges are scrambling to fill the vacancies. Trump has promised to appoint “only the most loyal and brilliant people” to replace the justices, including reality TV stars, retired WWE wrestlers, and his former lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.
Critics, meanwhile, argue that the order is unconstitutional and lacks any legal basis. “This isn’t how government works,” said Harvard Law professor Laurence Tribe. “The Supreme Court is an independent branch of government, and you can’t just send them to space because you don’t like their rulings.”
But Trump insists he has the authority to act. “Article II of the Constitution gives the president absolute power to deport anyone he wants, including judges, celebrities, and even the Queen of England,” he declared, sipping a Diet Coke. “Trust me, I’m a student of the law. It’s very simple.”
The order has also raised concerns about the practicality of transporting nine people to space. NASA officials have expressed skepticism, stating that current technology cannot safely send humans to space for more than a few months. However, Trump dismissed these concerns, tweeting, “NASA hasn’t built a rocket in decades because they suck. I’m going to build a new one myself. Gonna be bigger and better than anything else. Believe me.”
As for the Supreme Court justices themselves, they have yet to publicly respond to the order. Justice Clarence Thomas was last seen boarding a SpaceX rocket, reportedly muttering, “Finally, a chance to get away from these liberal idiots.” Meanwhile, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s family confirmed she is “considering legal action,” though they declined to specify the nature of her response, since she is dead, but experts say she probably would want her remains sent into space with her former bench buddies.
The executive order is set to take effect immediately, with the first deportation flights scheduled for next month. Trump has already tweeted that he will “personally oversee the entire process” and that the deported justices “will be out of our hair faster than you can say ‘impeached.'”
This marks the latest in a series of controversial executive orders from the Trump administration, including the banning of global warming, the release of all government files related to the JFK assassination (which he later amended to “Syke”), and the requirement for chickens to wear surgical masks. Trump has hinted at more orders to come, including one that would replace the national anthem with “I Will Survive.”
