Trump Executive Order Bans ‘Those Baby Carrots You See’
This is about wangs, isn’t it?
The One and Only President Trump has issued a new executive order banning “those baby carrots you see” in grocery stores. The order, titled “Executive Order on the Elimination of Baby Carrots,” was signed at a press conference held in the Rose Garden, where Trump declared, “Those baby carrots are a national security threat, and we need to take action now. On my watch, no American will be forced to eat a carrot that is not American-sized.”
According to the order, the sale and distribution of baby carrots will be strictly prohibited within the United States. Violators will face fines of up to $1 million and up to 20 years in prison. The order also mandates that all existing stocks of baby carrots must be destroyed immediately.
“Carrots are a reflection of the country, and I don’t like what baby carrots say about America, which is great again.” Trump said during the press conference. When asked to clarify, he confusingly commented, “They’re small and Mexican-coded. I don’t know, I haven’t seen one from a Mexican. I’m straight, it’s been well established.”
The order has sparked outrage among carrot farmers and pro-carrot activists, who argue that baby carrots are a staple of the American diet and that banning them will have serious consequences for public health. Many have pointed out that baby carrots are simply regular carrots that have been peeled and cut into smaller pieces, and that banning them is essentially equivalent to banning all carrots.
But Trump remains undeterred, saying, “Listen, folks, I’m a carrot expert, okay? I’ve eaten more carrots than anyone. It’s why they call me ‘The Orange Guy.’ I know what’s best for this country, and baby carrots are not it.”
The executive order has also raised concerns about its impact on the economy, as baby carrots are a major export for the United States. Some economists have warned that banning the sale of baby carrots could lead to a trade war with countries like France and Japan, which are major importers of American baby carrots.
Despite these concerns, Trump has promised that his new policy will “Make Carrots Great Again” and create millions of jobs in the adult carrot industry. “We’re going to bring back the days when carrots were big and strong,” he said. “No more of this soft, weak, tiny, baby carrot nonsense.”
