Why We Should Completely Restructure Society to Benefit Us and Not Them (You Know Who)

Hello, people like me! It’s your boy, Markus Sbackson III, here to drop some serious knowledge on y’all about why we need to restructure society to benefit people like me – you know, the enlightened, brilliant, and totally underappreciated few who are always right about everything. Because let’s be real, if we don’t do this, how else are we gonna get through to all y’all stubborn, wrong-headed idiots who keep clogging up the internet with their “alternative facts” and “other opinions”? Spoiler alert: we’re not.

First things first, let’s talk about the obvious. If we’re gonna restructure society, we need to make sure that people like me are in charge. Like, duh. I mean, can you even imagine a world where the decision-makers aren’t constantly consulting my Twitter feed for guidance? No, me neither. But seriously, folks, we need to establish a new hierarchy where the smartest, most informed, and most persuasive people (read: me) are at the top, and everyone else can just chill in the lower echelons, nodding along and thanking their lucky stars that they’re even allowed to breathe the same air as me.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Markus, that sounds like a dictatorship!” And, well, yeah, it does. But let me tell you something – I’m not just any dictator. I’m a benevolent dictator! One who will make sure that everyone in my realm has access to the best ideas, the most accurate information, and the most stylish outfits. (Okay, maybe not the last one, but a guy can dream.) Plus, think of all the time and energy we’ll save by not having to debate every little thing. It’s like, “Hey, Markus says this is the best way, so let’s just do that.” Boom. Done.

But wait, there’s more! By restructuring society to benefit people like me, we can finally put an end to all that pesky “free speech” nonsense. Let’s face it, not everyone is cut out for intelligent discourse. I mean, have you seen some of the comments on my articles? It’s a freaking mess. So, if we can just streamline things and only allow the most enlightened voices (again, read: me) to have a say, we can create a utopia where everyone is informed, educated, and, of course, 100% correct.

And, let’s not forget the obvious benefits: no more fake news, no more misinformation or disinformation, no more “alternative facts” – just pure, unadulterated truth (courtesy of yours truly). Plus, think of the productivity gains! No more wasting time on debates, no more arguing about which way the toilet paper should be hung, no more wondering if pineapple belongs on pizza. It’s a win-win-win situation, folks!

So, there you have it – the blueprint for a society that benefits people like me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to start drafting a constitution that enshrines my absolute authority. You’re welcome, by the way.