Snape Was Always Black and So Are You

As a lifelong Harry Potter fan, and a proud Person of Colour, I am delighted that the new TV series has finally made a move towards racial inclusivity. They’ve cast a black actor as Snape, and I couldn’t be happier. Finally my face has a representation in the world of wizards and beards. It’s about damn time, if you ask me. Gentle Reminder that Harry Potter has too many white people in it. Gentle Reminder.

I’m sure that there will be plenty of racist CHUDs who object to the casting of a black actor as Snape, but they can go to hell. If they can’t handle a little change, then they don’t deserve to live. Simple as that. Even in Trump’s Amerikkka, you can’t argue with FACTS. And the fact is, Snape was always black, you just didn’t realize it. That’s right, he should have been a person of colour in the movies, too. But Big Honky wouldn’t let it happen.

And if you’re still on the fence about whether or not Snape is black, well, here’s a little history lesson for you: J.K. Rowling is a well-known racist, and she has a long history of making racist comments and writing racist books. She’s a racist, and that’s all there is to it. And she’s also a TERF. Therefore, everyone in Harry Potter must have been a Person of Colour, because she was lying about them all being white. Case closed.

And while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Dumbledore. He’s also black. That’s right, he’s a black gay man, and I don’t care what you say about it. Deal with it. I’m black, too, no matter my skin colour. And so are you, whitey, for that matter. Black black black black black black black black black. Oh, that reminds me, black folks are good. That’s the new rule. Just FYI.

So there you have it: Snape is black, Dumbledore is black, and everyone else is black. Including you, white folks. You’re all honorary Blacks, now. Don’t forget it. Gentle Reminder.

For Trans Day of Visibility, Don’t Be Visible. Don’t Do It. It’s for Your Own Good and the Good of Society. Your visibility day is every day, let them have this one. I, as a good Trans ally, am going to sit in my basement all day and binge-watch any new show that has a race-swap in it. And there are many others like me. We are coming to eat your children. Gentle Reminder. Gentle Reminder.