SHOCKING! Ibram X Kendi and Robin DiAngelo Canonize Wokeness as a Religion, Say Jesus Didn’t Die For White People
They will still take donations from you, though
Alright OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM religion readers, it’s your ol’ pal Jesus Smith, your resident clickbait spirituality guy, and you are NOT going to believe what just went down in the world of woke theology. You thought you knew cancel culture? Buckle up, honkies, because things are about to get real.
In a shocking announcement that will no doubt send ripples through social media and college campuses nationwide, critical race theorists Ibram X Kendi and Robin DiAngelo have officially declared “Wokeness” a religion! That’s right – what started as a hashtag is now a full-blown faith system. And you better believe they’ve got some controversial takes on forgiveness.
According to the newly minted Scriptures of Wokeness (mostly books written by DiAngelo and X Kendi themselves), there is no forgiveness for those who commit the ultimate sin: being white. DiAngelo and X Kendi, who now refer to themselves as “The Prophet of Woke” and “The Oracle of Anti-Racism,” laid out their new theology in a lengthy Medium post.
“White supremacy is a permanent condition, and there is no absolution for those who perpetuate it,” Kendi wrote in a passage that was almost certainly inspired by divine revelation. “If you say something or do something while white, you are racist FOREVER. There is no path to redemption. Only eternal shame.”
This hardline stance on forgiveness has already caused quite the stir online, with many wondering how it squares with the teachings of Jesus, who famously told people to turn the other cheek and forgive those who wronged them. But DiAngelo was quick to dismiss such concerns as “white fragility.”
“Jesus was a super-duper brown-skinned Middle Eastern Jew,” DiAngelo explained in a tweet that went viral almost instantly. “The only way to truly honor his legacy is to condemn whiteness in all its forms. If you’re not doing that, you’re not a real Christian. Trust me, I’m cool.”
Ibram X Kendi took to Bluesky to further elaborate on the details of the new Faith-Based Belief System, which he stressed is based on “Taking any and all donations, even and especially from white people.” He reiterated that Jesus didn’t die for everyone, just people from marginalized groups. He also called Colonialism the greatest sin of all.
“If any of your ancestors benefited from slavery, colonialism, or appropriation, I mean in any way at all, even the smallest thing, like an extra penny…you better get used to a really warm climate, because you be burning in hell,” X Kendi tweeted. “Only those from what the cool people consider marginalized groups can be saved.”
It’s an extreme stance that has already sparked outrage, but as anyone who’s ever been on Twitter knows, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. And with Kendi and DiAngelo at the helm, the Church of Wokeness is poised to become the next big thing in social media religion. Stay tuned for more updates – this story is just getting started.
