Five Cool Things You Can Do With Old Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups
You don’t wanna eat those old things, do you?
With inflation straining our budgets and newer better candies coming out every day, finding uses for the expired treats in our cupboards has never seemed more important than right now. Here are some cool, exciting, and useful things you can do with the Peanut Butter Cups you bought for Halloween 2006 and then forgot about…
1) Frisbees. What’s more fun than a day at the beach? Nothing! But you know what would make that fun more funner, a peanut butter frisbee! Hot-glue several of the cups into a disc-shaped circle and then fly it! Remember that because the Cup is made of candy, it won’t survive the sand, and if it lands in the water, there’s a good chance it’ll get eaten by a shark or other creature of the deep! Fun!
2) Underpants. Don’t toss out that old pair of skivvies just because there’s a hole in them! Just take one of your Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups and fold the sides inward, until it’s shaped like a square! Then stuff it in the holey place and wear it! The candy will move around when you walk, so for comfort’s sake, you may want to wedge it in there using another foodstuff or toy or stuffed animal! Try it, it might work!
3) Camera Cases. Today’s expensive digital cameras are great for vacations or special events, but if you happen to drop them, they’re garbage forever! Fear no more! Take two or three of the Cups and put them on the top, bottom, and sides of your camera! That way, if you drop it, you’ll just make a mess! Perfect! Cameras are evil anyway. There. I said it.
4) Humming Top. Does your small child enjoy playing with tops, spinning tops, and hula hoops? Great, then they’ll definitely appreciate the twirling action of a Peanut Butter Cup-based humming top! Simply remove the paper wrapper and stick a nail into the chocolate side of the Cup! Then balance it on your finger or thumb! Now, give it a gentle blow, and watch it start to spin in place, humming a small and almost inaudible tune! Just watch out or the dog will get it!
5) Cosplay. Dressing up as one of your favorite fictional characters is an activity the whole family can enjoy, and there’s no better costume than that of a giant Candy Man! Take a large number of the Cups and put them inside your clothing! You’re now a huge Candy Man! Tip: the bigger you are, the more cups you’ll need to look right! Get on it, plump guy!
Did you know there are millions of things you can do with those old Halloween candies, apart from eating them? No, probably not, and that’s why I shill for ZZZZZonky Candy-Wrappers, a new product designed to re-wrap those old treats for years and years of festive joy and non-consumption! Don’t eat something, just believe in it! Have faith! For further reading, I recommend “Bees Don’t Have Legs: Why Candy Is Not Food.” Stay tuned!
