Trump Executive Order Renames Chimichangas to “Freedom Changas”

President Trump has wasted no time in making good on his campaign promise to “Make America Tasty Again,” with his first executive order of the week renaming all chimichangas to “Freedom Changas.” The order, which has been dubbed “Operation Taco Freedom,” is part of Trump’s larger plan to “de-Mexicanize” American cuisine and to “make Mexican food great again.”

Under the executive order, all chimichangas, regardless of their filling or personal beliefs, must be renamed “Freedom Changas.” The order also stipulates that all Freedom Changas must be served with a small American flag and a side of Trump’s signature “Make America Great Again” ranch dressing.

Speaking at a press conference held at the White Castle in Columbus, Ohio, Trump said, “Listen, folks, I’m a big fan of chimichangas, I really am. But you know what? They’re just not American enough, okay? And that’s why I decided to change their name, to something that’s more fitting for the greatest country in the world.”

Under the new order, all restaurants and food establishments are required to change their menus to reflect the new name. Furthermore, any chimichanga recipes on the internet must be edited to reflect the new name as well. Failure to comply with these orders could result in fines or even jail time, depending on the severity of the infraction.

Trump also unveiled plans for a new national holiday to be held annually on December 31st, which will be known as “Freedom Changa Day.” On this day, all American citizens will be required to eat at least one “freedom changa” from a local restaurant, in celebration of the country’s greatness. Those who cannot afford to buy a “freedom changa” will be allowed to eat a McDonald’s cheeseburger in its stead, which Trump has dubbed the “Poor People’s Freedom Changa.”

Critics have slammed the order as unnecessary and offensive, pointing out that there is nothing inherently liberal or Mexican about the chimichanga, and that the name change is just a cheap political stunt. They also argue that it is not fair or humane to force Mexican restaurants and chefs to change the name of a dish that has been a staple of their culture for generations.

But Trump remains undeterred. “Listen, folks, I’ve got the best food advisors, everyone says so. And they tell me that this is a great idea, okay? It’s going to save millions of taste buds and make America the envy of the world.”

The order has also led to a backlash from the Mexican restaurant and food industry, which has claimed that the name change will confuse customers and hurt their businesses. “This is an assault on our culture and our livelihoods,” said one spokesperson for the National Restaurant Association, “the only people who should be allowed to change the names of our dishes, is us. This is all Gamergate’s fault.”

Trump has been quick to dismiss these concerns, saying, “Fake news. These Freedom Changas are delicious, they’re going to be the new national dish, really fantastic. And I can tell you, the taste buds are going to be bigger, tastier, and cheaper, than ever before.”

The executive order is expected to take effect immediately, with the Department of Agriculture tasked with enforcing the new policy. Trump has also said that he plans to issue additional orders requiring all other Mexican dishes, such as burritos and tacos, to be renamed with an American twist.

“Let me tell you, folks, we’re going to be making so many executive orders, the likes of which this country has never seen,” Trump said, before pausing for dramatic effect and looking directly at the camera, “but I’m not going to tell you what they are, okay? You’ll have to wait and see. It’s going to be huge, believe me.”

In related news, the Department of Homeland Security has announced plans to build a wall around all Mexican restaurants and food trucks in the country, in order to prevent the “invasion” of “unauthentic” Mexican cuisine. The wall will feature a sign that reads “No Trespassing: Real Mexicans Only,” and will be made out of the same material as the border wall with Mexico.