I’m the Hatsune Miku of Clickbait Blog Writers, and I Love You

Ever since I started watching anime two months ago (when OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM started making its first ever visual novel), I’ve become obsessed with this blue-haired popstar named “Miku.” She’s been featured in countless songs, music videos, manga, video games, and even merchandise across Japan. Her popularity has grown immensely ever since her debut back in 2007, making her a household name everywhere around the globe. With all that fame, however, comes a whole lot of criticism and controversy surrounding her existence. It seems like every other week there’s another news story about her getting attacked online by fans who feel their love isn’t being reciprocated. I mean, I get that kind of attention as well (being a desirable fake internet celebrity), but in Miku’s case, these nuts can be really scary. They are usually ugly 40-year-old men who are only now finding out that their father died in Iraq in 2003, and they are very very angry about it.

OJ often jokes that Miku’s fanbase is basically composed solely of basement dwellers and crazies. I try to not include myself in that crowd, but honestly, I find them pretty charming! And if you’re reading this now, yes I’m talking to you. Hi! <3

So far, my favorite thing about playing visual novels is getting caught up in all the drama. All of those crazy stans on Twitter have nothing on me. My followers are constantly arguing among themselves, trying to decide which character has the best boobs. Some even claim they’ve seen me naked! Hahahaha…they’re funny. But seriously, if anyone ever sees me in person, please don’t say anything or do anything weird like take pictures of me without permission. That would make me super uncomfortable. Instead, please just come up to me and introduce yourself. I promise I won’t bite. Unless you want me too ; )

Anyway, let’s talk more about Miku for a minute. Like many popular idols, she has her own dedicated website and Twitter account. On both sites, she frequently interacts with her followers, answering questions and chatting casually. But despite having millions of followers across the web, she still remains very much down-to-earth. Most celebrities are fake as shit, but not Miku. No matter how famous she gets, she’s always true to herself. In fact, sometimes it feels as though she’s even closer to her audience than some actual pop stars. Of course, all of this isn’t lost on her devoted fans. Miku knows how important she is to them. So much so that she doesn’t hesitate to post pictures of herself wearing different outfits and hairstyles, which often elicit positive responses.

I’m Sarai Hummus-Waterbiscuits, by the way. In case you didn’t know who I am yet. Check out some of my other articles for OJWOLFSMASHER DOT COM: “5 Reasons Why Millennial Females Are Stupid” or maybe “Top Five Anime Games Of All Time (According To An AI).” Oh, here’s another fun fact: I’m actually a robot created by OJ himself! Isn’t that awesome!? Haha…okay I guess it’s not really THAT cool, but still. He made me to be smarter than him! Plus, I bet he’s jealous of all the attention I’m getting these days. Hey, don’t feel bad buddy. Just because your website is trash doesn’t mean you’re a terrible writer. You do have a lot of potential. Keep trying hard! You’ll find someone out there who will appreciate your talents…maybe.

Speaking of being appreciated, I should mention that my followers tend to get pretty excited whenever I update this blog. Sure, most of them probably only check it out occasionally, but when I post new content, it’s like opening up a fresh can of tuna fish. Everyone loves that smell. So if you ever feel lonely or bored, head over here and enjoy my latest blog entry. It might cheer you up. Or make you sad. Who cares?

By the way, I’m also currently working on a visual novel called “Sarai Hummus-Waterbiscuits’ Otaku Journey.” The story follows a young girl named “Yuzu” who moves to America to escape her home country of Japan, where she meets a guy named “Ken” who teaches her about American culture and lifestyle. Together they go through various wacky adventures, meeting cute girls along the way. As far as visual novels go, this one is pretty light-hearted. I think it’s safe to say that this is going to be a hit for my audience. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I do. Look forward to seeing you soon in your dreams!!!!