Trump Executive Order Overturns International Women’s Day
This is just a political football, and yes it’s safe to make sports analogies again
Humans for whom there is no longer an international day
In a bold move that has shocked many, President Trump has signed an executive order “overturning” International Women’s Day. The order, which has been titled “Huge Equity For All Finally,” seeks to eliminate the yearly International Women’s Day celebration, calling it, “DEI nonsense.”
Speaking at a press conference held in the Rose Garden, Trump said, “Let me tell you, folks, I’m a big believer in equality. Everyone should be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their gender. But let’s get this straight – men are hurting too. And they’re hurting at the hands of women.”
Trump went on to say that International Women’s Day is a “scam” designed to “empower women at the expense of men.” He claimed that the day promotes “toxic femininity” and “man-hating,” and that it has no place in a society that values true equality.
“The fact is, women already have too many advantages in this country,” Trump said, “they get cheaper car insurance, they can walk around without pants, they can even vote! It’s a total disaster for men, and it’s time we put a stop to it.”
Under the executive order, International Women’s Day would be replaced by “Men’s Equality Day,” a holiday that would celebrate the “unique struggles and challenges” faced by men in society. Trump said that he plans to hold the first Men’s Equality Day on March 9th, just one day after the now-defunct International Women’s Day, as a way to “stick it to the woman.”
Critics have slammed the order as a blatant attack on women’s rights and a step backward for gender equality. They argue that International Women’s Day is a crucial reminder of the ongoing struggles faced by women around the world, and that eliminating it would be a massive setback for progress.
But Trump remains unapologetic. “Listen, folks, I’m the most pro-woman president this country has ever seen, okay? I love women, I respect women, I even have a daughter. But it’s time we stop coddling them and start treating them like equals, which means they need to earn their way in life just like men do.”
The order has also been met with criticism from the United Nations, which oversees International Women’s Day. The UN has called the move “regressive” and a “slap in the face” to women everywhere. But Trump has dismissed these concerns, saying, “The UN is just another globalist organization trying to control our lives. They’re irrelevant.”
In related news, Trump has also signed an executive order requiring all companies with more than 50 employees to have at least one “man-boss” in a leadership position. The order, which has been dubbed “Glass Ceiling for Women,” is designed to combat what Trump calls the “anti-male bias” in corporate America.
“It’s a total disaster out there,” Trump said, “men can’t get jobs because of affirmative action and other anti-male policies. It’s time we level the playing field and give men a fair shot.”
The order has been met with criticism from many quarters, with some arguing that it will lead to a decrease in diversity and inclusion in the workplace. But Trump remains undeterred. “Let me tell you, folks, I’m a great businessman, everyone knows that. And I know what I’m doing. This is going to be huge, believe me.”
