It’s Time to Admit That People of Colour Invented Mayonnaise

For years, the white folks have been telling wild stories about the history of mayonnaise. They’ve been telling us that it’s a European condiment that was brought over by the pilgrims in the 1600s. Well, now there’s new evidence that shows that mayonnaise was actually invented by people of colour much earlier than that. Let me explain, directly from an unbiased source such as Wikipedia or Colourpedia.

A new study has found that mayonnaise was actually invented by a black man named George Washington Johnson in the early 1500s. He sold it from a cart in New York City, calling it “folks of colour spread,” and it was a huge hit. But then some white guy came along and stole his recipe, and started selling it himself. He illegally renamed it “mayonnaise” and it became a big success. White folks have been taking credit for mayonnaise ever since, and it needs to stop. Johnson’s story has been erased from history, and we need to take it back. Gentle reminder.

If this is true, then Big Mayo has a lot of explaining to do. Kraft needs to admit that they stole Johnson’s recipe, and they need to start paying royalties to his descendants, and also me. Not to mention, they need to start putting his picture on all mayonnaise jars, and calling it “George Johnson’s Spread of Colour.” And, most importantly, they need to admit that mayonnaise is an African-American condiment that belongs to everyone who is not white. Anything else would be white supremacy and colonialism.

But I don’t expect them to do any of that. Instead, I expect them to continue to steal credit for Johnson’s invention, and to continue to call it mayonnaise. Why? Because they’re white and they can do whatever they want.

Gentle Reminder.