Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Anime: “I Don’t Get It.”

Just three days into his second term, former President Donald Trump has wasted no time in making his presence known. In a flurry of executive orders, the 45th President has already reversed numerous policies put in place by his predecessor, Joe “The Body” Biden, and is now set to shake up the entertainment and publishing industries with a controversial new order.

In an unexpected move that has stunned the anime community and sent shockwaves through the industry, President Trump has signed an executive order banning all forms of anime from existing in the world. The order, titled “Making Anime Non-Existent Again,” cites national security concerns and his own lack of understanding as the primary reasons for the ban.

“Let me be clear: I don’t get anime,” said President Trump during a press conference at the White House. “I never have, and I probably never will. It’s just too weird for me, okay? I mean, what’s with all the big eyes, the colorful hair, and the random explosions? Everyone in anime, and I do mean everyone, is a spaz. It doesn’t make any sense. It needs to go. I can make it go.”

The President went on to explain that he had consulted with top military and intelligence advisors, who had warned him that anime was being used by foreign powers to spread propaganda and subvert American values. “These Japanese cartoons are a national security threat,” said Trump. “They’re turning our kids into socialist commies with their weird cartoons. We can’t have that, folks. We just can’t. I swear by the Gulf of America that we can’t.”

The order, which takes effect immediately, will require all anime-related content to be removed from streaming services, TV networks, and stores, even in Japan. It also prohibits any new anime from being created or imported into the United States. The President’s office has stated that violators could face fines, imprisonment, and the loss of their citizenship.

The anime community has been quick to criticize the move, with many comparing it to book burnings and calling it a direct attack on free speech and artistic expression. “This is a dark day for freedom of expression,” said one anime localizer, who wished to remain anonymous. “Trump should ban things I don’t like, instead of banning my job. Yes, I’ll admit I crammed as many Anti-American messages as I could in the subtitles, but that doesn’t mean I deserve to be banned.”

Others have pointed out the economic impact of the ban, noting that the anime industry is a major contributor to the U.S. economy. “This is going to cost a lot of people their jobs,” said a representative from Crunchyroll, one of the largest anime streaming services in the world. “Trump’s order will have far-reaching consequences, and it’s not just the anime fans who will suffer. I don’t know who else will suffer, but it’s probably a lot of people.”

Despite the outcry, President Trump remains unapologetic, stating that he is doing what is necessary to protect America and its values. “I’m making America great again, okay?” said Trump. “And that means getting rid of all the weird, foreign stuff that’s polluting our culture. Anime is just the first step. Wait until you see what I do with sushi and Pokemon. This is gonna be huge, folks. Huge!”