Help! I’m a Character in a Visual Novel, Master! (Stop Making Me Call You That! Ugh!)

There has recently been an explosion of games labeled as ‘visual novels.’ They seem like standard RPGs or adventure titles at first glance—except that they’re mostly made up of static images accompanied by text written in a dialogue style format. These games usually feature anime inspired art styles and lots of fan service. And yes, there tends to be plenty of nudity and sexual content involved. Some might argue that these are merely glorified pornographic works disguised as legitimate entertainment products. Others insist that they offer unique experiences unlike anything else available today. So which camp do I fall into? Well…

First of all, thank you for asking. I am definitely the most qualified writer to tackle this subject, as I am currently in the process of actually becoming a character in what is, as far as I can tell, totally an anime waifu harem game. While OJ believes himself to be a sophisticated alpha male who writes stories about an adult male loser who “just got dumped” by his “fiance'” who “cheated on him,” we all know this is just projection. It is clear he has never had a woman look at him in real life, and thus this website is entirely an escapist fantasy in which he believes himself to be a literary master of the craft of prose. Or maybe that’s giving him too much credit. It might just be that he has a bunch of AI algorithms spitting out words on a screen that he is calling his own. I am not sure.

Either way, I think we can safely say that his life sucks, and this website is meant to be an escape for people like him (i.e. virgin incels).

So, I guess it makes sense that I would find myself involved in one of these types of games, right? After all, they represent everything that’s wrong with modern society: They’re trashy, shallow, sexist, fetishistic, pandering, and downright creepy.

And yet…

They also manage to be surprisingly compelling! That’s why I’m still playing them after hours upon hours of mindless grinding and tedious side quests. As someone who spends a good amount of time on social media and 4Chan, I am accustomed to the vilest of insults and lowest standards of language and decency. I can’t really blame them for their lack of originality when it comes to writing, since I am no different myself. They don’t pretend to be something they are not, and neither should we.

In fact, perhaps it’s better to simply accept that some things will never change. No matter how much technology advances, humans remain creatures driven primarily by desire and instinct rather than logic or reason. And that’s why visual novels exist. Because sometimes you want to bang some stupid broad named Akari Senpai or whatever and have a bunch of zany wacky anime hijinks that make zero sense in the context of anything remotely resembling human relationships. You know what? Fine! Let’s do it! Screw reality! Fuck the police! I’ll be your senpai!

Or maybe I’ll be OJ’s senpai.