Unlike Other Outlets, OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM is Not Afraid to Endorse Joe Biden for President in 2024
Marvel at our courageous endorsement
by OJW Staff
Yes, we know it’s late…but we just couldn’t decide between Donald “Kung Flu” Trump and Kamala “America’s Loopy Mom” Harris. We were going to flip a coin, and just retroactively justify our endorsement with lies written by AI, but that seemed disrespectful. And so here we are, one day away from an election nobody wants, and we still haven’t made our official endorsement.
A quick note – you may have already early voted for whomever you thought was best, and that’s ok! If so, you should definitely try to intercept your mail-in ballot at the post office (Going in there and yelling, “I’VE COMMITTED VOTE FRAUD” will get their attention, in our experience), because you most definitely voted wrong.
After all, isn’t there someone we KNOW is QUALIFIED for the job, but somehow got removed from everyone’s ballots? Someone with almost FOUR YEARS EXPERIENCE being ACTUAL PRESIDENT of USA?
No, I’m not talking about Trump, you MAGA fools. I’m talking about the one, the only…Joseph “The Body” M***********g Biden.
Sure, there are questions about his “mental acumen” and “frail old man body,” but those are just dog whistles for Oldphobia and Ableism. Girl, you know it’s true. And he’s President RIGHT NOW. How could anyone be more qualified than that? I’m just sayin’. That would be like HR throwing out your resume’, firing you, and salting the earth so you can never be rehired. It’s wrong, and it needs to be called out.
Good Ol’ Joe Biden is the safe choice and you know it. Not only are his gaffes adorable in that same exact way your toddler is when he wobbles around your house, but they remind us that the president is…human. He makes mistakes. Lots of them. Relatable.
In 2024, we need a President that redefines what it means to be President, while also preventing either one of these psychotic and probably hyper-authoritarian nincompoops from gaining unimaginable power and unmaking the universe. Our lives depend on it, so write in Unky Joe one more time. It’s free, and it’s fun!
