Do White People Have Real Feelings? Experts Weigh In.

For centuries, activist scientists have debated one simple question: Do white people even have feelings? Are they normal humans, or some sort of antiwoke human-machine hybrid? Are they deserving of human rights, or are they basically just glorified Toyota Priuses? A recent poll by The New York Times found that only 27% of Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Other respondents think yes to that last question, while 15% are “not sure,” 7% don’t have an opinion and 51% would prefer to be left alone and not asked stupid questions. But what about their feelings? What does science have to say?

Well, it turns out that this is a complicated question. There’s a lot of nuance to it. Like many complex social questions, the answer depends on who you ask, and how you ask them. For example, some people would say no. They would say that white people are robots created by The Man to oppress the global south. But others would say yes, they’re totally capable of love, joy, anger and other feelings. But then there’s the question of how many emotions they have. Are they only capable of hate? Are they incapable of empathy? Are they all Nazis, even the ones who seem nice and progressive?

According to Dr. Yaremi Pena-Valenzuela of Stanford University, a renowned leftist psychologist, the jury is out on this question. “I’m not sure we’ll ever know for certain what makes them tick. All we know is that their feelings are different from ours.” Pena-Valenzuela thinks they have no feelings at all. She thinks they’re soulless monsters. When asked to elaborate on her position, she said “look, I have no time for this. I have a Doctorate. I didn’t falsify my degrees, don’t even look into it.”

Others have more charitable views on white folks. Take, for example, the anthropologist David S. Rutledge, professor of sociology at the University of California at Santa Barbara and founder of White Lives Matter Matter (WLMM), an antifascist movement dedicated to raising awareness about Weird Questions About White People (WQAWP). According to him, whites are just misunderstood and oppressed, like everyone else in this country. “They’re people too, after all. You might disagree with them politically and socially, but that doesn’t make their experiences invalid.”

Of course, some experts believe it’s best to remain open to multiple points of view. Dr. P. J. Johnson is the co-director of the Center for Interdisciplinary Studies at UC Berkeley, and author of the forthcoming book The Black Book: Why We Hate White People And How They Deserve It (Random House). “I think the evidence is mixed,” she said. “My personal belief is that they do have some emotions, but not in a healthy range or variety.”

In short, nobody really knows if they have any emotions at all, much less feelings. Maybe they do, or maybe they don’t. That’s just how science works. You never truly know. So it’s best not to trust them, ever. Gentle Reminder.