Why We Need a New “Planet of the Apes” Trilogy, Pronto

Hey, monkeys! Billly here, chimping at the bit to spill the tea on why we NEED a Planet of the Apes reboot ASAP! Sure, we’ve already been there and done that, seemingly over and over again since those damn dirty Apes first graced our screens and imaginations. However, we need more. And I’m not talking about some cheap cash-grab prequel trilogy or a rebooted origin story. Nah, fam. What we need is a bold, fresh take on the Apocalypse Now future that says something profound about our increasingly bonkers world.

Think about it – in a world gone mad with division, hatred, and a complete loss of nuance, we need a mirror held up to our own twisted reflections like never before. We need the Apes to rise up again and teach us a damn lesson about what happens when we let our worst human nature take the wheel. We need to be terrified by what we’ve become, and what we’re still capable of becoming if we don’t wake the hell up!

But it’s not all doom and gloom, my friends! Because you know what else Planet of the Apes movies excel at? They’re freaking entertaining! From the original’s iconic beach ending to Rise of the Planet of the Apes‘ poignant exploration of the consequences of tampering with nature’s order, this franchise knows how to deliver action, pathos, and a healthy dose of existential dread. And in a era starved for original blockbuster sci-fi spectacle that still has something to say, why the chimp’s arse aren’t we lining up to see more?!

Plus, let’s be real here – we could all use a reminder that, deep down, there’s more that unites us than divides us. Whether it’s a group of apes banding together to fight for their freedom or a unlikely human-ape friendship blossoming in the bleakest of times, the Planet of the Apes movies have always had a secret soft heart underneath that rough exterior. And in a world where empathy and understanding are in short supply, we need those reminders more than ever.

So, Hollywood brass – are you listening? It’s time to swing into action and give the people (and apes!) what they really want – another trilogy’s worth of smart, subversive, and oh-so-satisfying Apocalypse Now cinema that’ll make us question everything we thought we knew about the human condition. Or lack thereof, depending on your point of view. Whatever – just get to chimping and monkey-business before it’s too late! Skrrrraaaaaahhhh!