It’s Time To Rebrand Iceland. I Suggest “Funland”

Listen up, world! It’s time for a serious talk about Iceland. I know, I know, you probably think “Iceland” sounds all cool and mysterious, like some frozen wonderland straight out of a fantasy novel. Well, guess what? It’s not. It’s 2024, and it’s high time we give this poor, mislabeled country the makeover it desperately needs. I’m talking full rebranding, people!

I’m talking about ditching that boring old “Iceland” nonsense and embracing the true spirit of this vibrant, modern paradise: “Funland.” That’s right, I said it. Funland. Iceland – meet your new name, and prepare to welcome all the thirsty, adventure-seeking millennials and Gen Z-ers looking for their next viral destination!

Think about it: “Hey, babe, wanna go skiing, soak in a hot spring, and maybe catch some Northern Lights this weekend?” That’s got a ring to it, doesn’t it? But “Hey, babe, wanna go to boring old Iceland this weekend?” Yeah, not so much. Funland, on the other hand, literally screams “FUN! FUN! FUN!” with every other syllable. It’s catchy, it’s memorable, and most importantly, it doesn’t sound like a place where you’re gonna freeze your butt off and die of boredom on the Taiga.

But wait, you say, what about all that “authentic Icelandic culture” and “unspoiled beauty”? Puh-leaze. Who wants “authentic” when you can have Instagramable? And as for “unspoiled,” I say, let’s embrace the spoiling! Embrace the neon lights, the DJs spinning electronic beats on the glaciers, the champagne showers under the Aurora Borealis. That’s the kind of “spoiled” I’m talking about. News flash: Rich people mean exploitation, but they also mean economic benefits. And not just grifters.

I mean, look a “Finland.” It’s close to “Funland,” and invokes images of dolphins frolicking in the ocean. But it’s copyrighted, I checked. So stick it to them by coming up with an even better name!

Iceland, it’s time to ditch the ice and embrace the… well, you get it. You’ve already done the hard work of eradicating Downs Syndrome, now reap the benefits. Adopt a new name, adopt the MAID program, and just like Canada, you could become a frozen paradise where nobody ever has to look at anyone inconvenient again!