New “Social Justice Bible” Removes “Do Not Judge” and All Mentions of Israel
Coming soon to Christian bookstore shelves near you?
Hey, OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM readers! I’m Jesus Smith, your go-to guy for all things spiritual and slightly controversial. I’ve got a juicy one for you today. You might have heard that some social justice theologians have been working on a new, “updated” version of the Holy Bible – but trust me, this isn’t your grandma’s scripture.
According to sources, the new “Social Justice Bible” removes all mentions of the phrase “Do Not Judge,” which appears in Matthew 7:1 and Luke 6:37. This is no small thing, folks. We’re talking about a fundamental message of Christianity being scrubbed from the Bible. According to the Harvard-educated Rev. Dr. Constitution Flabermorg, Head of the SJB Version Project, Jesus wasn’t talking about judging people when he made his now controversial exhortation to not judge.
“Of course, Jesus didn’t exactly say what He said to mean what he meant, but we can just imagine how He must have felt about those narrow-minded Pharisees,” Rev. Flabermorg added. “We’re modernizing this stuff, man. If you think about it too much you’re part of the problem.”
And that’s not all – this version of the Bible also leaves out all references to Israel. Yep, you read that right. This means that the Old Testament’s Book of Joshua, where the Israelites conquer the Promised Land, is now totally MIA. This is all part of a larger push for what the SJB VP calls “decolonization of scripture,” essentially making the Bible more palatable for modern sensibilities.
“You can’t expect American Zoomers to read a Bible where Israel is the good guys,” Rev. Flabermorg commented, “That’s just outdated. We’re working on rewriting the Old Testament from the Philistines’ point of view, but it’s hard to find modern-day Philistines, presumably because they were mistreated by the Jews for so many years.”
The real question, though, is: is this really the message of God? Or are we just rewriting Scripture to fit our own ideological agendas? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!* Share this article if you want to spark some conversation. Follow us, OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM, for more hot takes on spirituality, faith, and all things biblical and umbiblical.
*Don’t you DARE –OJW
