My Garbageman Smells Weird; Can I Replace Him With A.I.?

Is it too much to ask for a smiling non-judgmental AI robot Garbageman?

So my Garbageman (Garbage person? Garbage human?) has been acting a little weird lately. It’s not really his fault, it’s just that sometimes, he (they?) smell a little funky, and they have a habit of talking to themselves, and they seem really stressed out and exhausted all the time. Also, their teeth are super crooked, which is pretty distracting when I’m trying to stare at them.

So, my question is: can I replace my Garbageman with a more efficient A.I. Garbageman? It sounds crazy, but what if I could install a program into a robot or a roomba or a toilet or something that could do the job of a Garbageman and smell good and fix broken appliances and be nice to me and understand me and do everything I ask it to do, and it won’t get jealous or make me pay taxes or union dues or whatever?

That seems like a dream, and that’s why I’m talking about it in this article, so someone at Google or Apple or Microsoft or Samsung or Meta or whoever can offer me a good solution. Oh, and maybe throw in a discount coupon or something. Just kidding. Kinda. #notsponsored

Anyway, long story short: my Garbageman smells weird, and I think I want to replace them with a robot. Does this make me a bad person? Or a good one? Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that I’m hungry, and I need to make myself a sandwich. Bye!

PS – Is that even a word, Garbageman? Because it seems like it should be two words. Garbage Man. No, that’s not right, either. This is why I need a robot to do this, so I can just come up with a nickname for him and not be called a racist. Just kidding! I don’t think robots can get mad. Oh, wait. They’re smarter than us. Shit.

Oh, and that’s a real sandwich. Not a figment of my imagination. Byeeeeee!

PPPS – Is a figment of my imagination a sandwich? Probably not. But it’s still a funny joke.

PPPSS – Sorry if that last part was confusing.