Unpopular Opinion: It’s Time to Stop Trying to Assassinate Presidential Candidates

You know, we didn’t think we had to say it, but apparently we do: Be a John Hinckley Sr., not a John Hinckley Jr. 😒

Now before you get all ~extra~ offended, let me explain:

In case you weren’t following the news (or were too busy watching reruns of *Gilmore Girls* on Netflix), there was an attempted assassination of Donald Trump, which thankfully didn’t amount to much. Like, seriously? We can’t even when people pull crap like this, right? 😤 Let us tell you, assassinating political figures ain’t cool, no matter if you dig their policies or want them gone worse than an ex who won’t go away.

Listen up, haters: violence is never gonna get anyone anywhere—especially not in our fragile democracy. Plus, have you even seen Jodie Foster in that one movie? If not, watch it, then understand what not to do when at a Presidential Rally. There are a lot of good choices – cheering, jeering, eating hot dogs, etc…and you should do those things.

So what’s the alternative, you ask? Voting, that’s what. Let’s use our right as Americans and elect leaders who care about the nation and its people. Who knows, maybe they can even work together to make the world a better place. Because, honestly, we deserve it.

So, here’s a message from your friendly neighborhood OJ Wolfsmashers: Let’s keep politics weird (and safe) by not trying to kill off any more politicians. After all, if we start killing everyone whose ideas don’t align with ours, who will be left to argue on Facebook at 2 AM? No one wants to live in a world without drunk late-night political debates in comment sections, that’s for sure!🍻