Five More Animals That are Overrated (Not Clickbait)
Bears can suck it
Did you like the first Noncomprehesive List of Animals That are Overrated, a few pages back? Well, here are five more animals that are overrated.
1) Axolotls. Axolotls are cute, but probably fake animals created in a lab to appeal to Millennials. What do they even do? They can’t pull carts or do math. They’re just weird, pink, slimy, blind amphibians that look like aliens. And they can regenerate their limbs, which is weird, but not necessarily as overrated as you’d think. Any, still not that great.
2) Siberian tigers. Siberian tigers are supposedly majestic and rare, but are they really? First of all, they live in Siberia, which is in Russia, which is something the whole world hates now. Also, what’s up with all the stripes? Maybe try working in a solid color now and then depending on the season. In either case, they’re overrated.
3) Lions. First of all, these are not the same lions that used to be cool, like Simba and Jimbo or whatever. These are regular, boring lions that people have been hunting since the dawn of time. Big deal. They don’t even have thumbs. And did you know that lions can eat your body, but not swallow your soul? What’s taht about?
4) Alpacas. Alpacas are stupid and smelly and hateful and they always spit at me. Alpacas can suck it. They’re overrated by virtue of people not hating them enough.
5) Bears. Recently there was this dumb meme where women and some simps claimed they’d rather meet a bear in the woods than a single guy. Screw that. Bears are terrifying. My nana was mauled by grizzly last year, and after they were done mauling her they played bear basketball with her. As the basketball. Let’s stop lionizing bears, ok? Or any other animal-izing them. They’re bears, and that’s bad enough.
Thanks for reading about these overrated bitch beasts. If I thought about it, I could probably come up with 500 more overrated animals, so expect more of these.
And if you need help keeping all these overrated animals out of your yard, try ZZZZZZonky Anti-fauna Shotgun Shell Pills. They’re guaranteed to make your gun shoot straight and true, so you can blast the hell out of whatever beast dares cross into your personal space.
