Scientists Discover Aliens Inside Sun – No Big Deal, Just An Army Waiting To Take Over Earth When They Get Bored

Scientists recently discovered that aliens are inside the sun. But I’m not writing this article to freak you out or to make you feel like your whole existence is a lie. I’m writing it to make you aware of this little fact: aliens have been living inside the sun for eons, just waiting to be bored enough to take over the solar system. When their boredness level reaches “Midnight,” it’s all over for your hoes, as well as everybody else.

Here’s a brief rundown of the discovery: A team of scientists used the recent total solar eclipse to peek inside the sun, and what they found was mind-blowing. Not because they saw a beautiful, shimmering ball of hot gas, but because they saw a bunch of little green men lounging on the sun’s surface, sipping solar-powered lattes, and chatting about the latest intergalactic fashion trends. It seems that aliens have been living inside the sun for millions of years, just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How did this happen? Was it a solar flare? Was it some sort of alien technology?” Well, my friend, the answer is quite simple: the aliens are just bored. They’ve been living inside the sun for so long that they’ve seen the same old solar flares and sunspots over and over again, and they’ve decided they need a change of pace. They need something to do. And what better thing to do than take over the Earth?

Scientists have already been speculating about potential ways to avoid this impending invasion. Are we too woke? Not woke enough? Are these latte-sipping aliens silently judging us from their poolside deck chairs? Or should we all just start to panic?

I know what I’m going to do: Live each day as if it was my last. YOLO, but for real this time. Wait…I was already doing that. Hmm. Well, this was a waste of time.