Petty Fashion Bloggers: Why You Need to Mug My Collection and Stop Hating
As a millennial writer for OJ WOLFSMAKER DOT COM, I constantly try to prove that I’m not as dumb as my bosses think I am. And one of the ways I do that is by blogging about trends and annoying everyone with my cool puns. But today, I have a serious beef to bring up about some real internet terrorists in our midst: Fashion Bloggers.
Petty Fashion Bloggers (PFBs) are a growing threat in the fashion industry. They have the power to boost your popularity or crush it with just a few negative words and judgy GIFs. And they’re here to do both.
How did this start? Well, my question is who started it, because I feel like my ClothesLine collection is a true standout in the industry. It’s a Line of Clothes, get it? ClothesLine! Like how rappers say clothes but also CLOTHES, like Lil Baby says CLOTHES, get it? GOT IT? Moving on. CLOTHES.
Anyway, while the ClothesLine Collection is unique and affordable and cute as hell, it has had a few haters. And I don’t really understand why. Like, I get some pushback because it’s not designer, or it’s not as expensive, or it’s not as slimming or as figure-flattering, or it’s not as on-trend or whatever, but it’s really more of a mix of different styles that I pull from all over the globe, so if you don’t like it, then that’s not MY fault you hate, I don’t know, the EARTH.
That’s the other thing, too: some fashion bloggers have the gall to buy my line and then tear it up and say it’s cheap or knockoff or whatever. I don’t do react videos to your crappy Shein ads, crapping all over your makeup, so step off, PFBs! But seriously, you like SHEIN? I mean, I’m a millennial, and I know fashion trends, and I feel like this is a real disservice to the consumer. Step up, PFBs! #notsponsored #clotheslinetravelsamazing
OK, so back to the issue at hand: I need to confront my haters in some sort of trashy hidden-camera hot-girl reality show. Curse my generation for ever getting rid of those! I’d love to tear the hair extensions out of someone’s weave right now! Maybe I’ll do it, just for fun! Just try me, Brittany! (not talking to any specific Brittany).
So, how can I reconcile with petty fashion bloggers? The answer is by being honest and open with them. And then maybe one day we can sit down over a hot cup of espresso, have a little cry, and realize that fashion is about expressing yourself and having fun and looking good and looking edgy and making a bold statement and all of the things that fashion really means to our little booger brains. Until then, I guess I’ll have to keep writing my dumb clickbait articles and my even more dumb advice columns, so thanks for reading! #buyclothesline #notsponsored
P.S. Here’s a little sneak peek at my next ClothesLine Collection: Biker Girl. All black and white and badass, just the way I like it. Now, back to the grind!
