Canada’s MAID Program Approved for Children; “Now We Never Have to Grow Up”

In a shocking development, the Canadian government has approved a plan to expand its medically assisted suicide program to include children as young as eight. Dubbed MAID4KIDS (Medical Assistance in Dying 4 Kids), the program allows individuals as young a eight to end their lives with the help of medical professionals if they are suffering from an incurable illness, intolerable pain, or a doctor or psychiatrist that doesn’t want to try that hard.
Critics argue that the expansion of the program to children is a slippery slope towards euthanasia for all, and that Canadians are increasingly afraid to face the challenges of life, as evidenced by their recent decision to ban all hurtful speech on the internet that doesn’t come from leftist weirds.
“We’ve seen an alarming trend of young people feeling overwhelmed by, well, pretty much anything – school, hearing most words, having parents, the slightest cognitive dissonace, etc.,” said Dr. Emilio Smacktalka, a psychologist specializing in adolescent mental health. “They’re terrified of white people, of being called names, of seeing something that makes them feel icky. And now the government is finally doing something about it, and giving them a way out.”
The MAID program has been met with opposition from religious groups and pro-life advocates, who argue that it devalues human life and opens the door to abuse. But supporters argue that it provides a compassionate option for those facing unbearable suffering, like logging on to the internet and being disagreed with.
“Not everyone can handle the stresses of life,” said one supporter. “And if MAID gives them the option to end their suffering early, who are we to judge?”
Highest Premier and self-described Hero to Children Justin Trudeau has come out in support of the expansion, arguing that it’s about individual choice and autonomy. “If someone doesn’t want to grow up and face the world,” he said, “We should respect their decision and allow them to self-life-reverse.”
But others argue that the program sends a dangerous message about the value of life and the importance of facing challenges. “Sure, life can be tough,” said one critic, who wished to remain anonymous to keep from being fired from their job and deported. “But isn’t that what makes us strong?”
Only time will tell if the expansion of MAID to children will lead to a generation of Canadians afraid to grow up and face life head-on, or if there will even be any Canadians left.